The Brady Bunch, The Addams Family, Scooby Doo, The Beverly Hillbillies, Starsky and Hutch- there’s been a film adaptation for just about every megapopular TV show of the 60s and 70s. Yet somehow Sherwood Schwartz’ show about a group of misfits stuck on a desert island has eluded the transition from beloved television program to ignored/derided film – after all, that’s the fate for most of them, despite what studios might see as a sure thing based on brand recognition. Even The Munsters appears to be beating Gilligan and the gang to the big screen. I’m here to speed up the process, though, by offering up my choices for the cast. Let’s start this three-hour tour:
GILLIGAN
Before he died, creator Schwartz gave his input on casting and suggested Michael Cera for the key role (and Beyonce Knowles for Ginger, which I like in general but will get to later). Cera would be a good choice for the little buddy, but he’s not mine. Instead, I’ll go with someone who also gets accused of being himself in every film, yet also bears a bit more of a physical resemblance to Bob Denver than Cera: Jay Baruchel.
If he’s not available:
* Zach Braff (Might be my first choice, but he’s getting a bit long in the tooth for the role)
* Michael Cera
* John Krasinski
* Wild-card: Seann William Scott (Seem strange? Pair him with my “Skipper” wild-card and then tell me how perfect it would be.)
* Super wild-card: Geoffrey Arend (“Who’s he,” you’re asking yourself. Well, he’d the real-life husband of my choice to play Ginger, and if you’ve seen any of his work, you ought to know he could pull it off.)
THE SKIPPER
It’s a shame – John Goodman is the ideal choice here, or at least he was, but I’m fairly certain that studios would shy away from him these days. After all, god forbid we have a actor in his 60s (or more than two of them, given that the Howell’s will likely fill those slots) in a film like this: they always seem to trend young for these (i.e. the Star Trek reboot). My gut tells me that they’d slap Kevin James’ name all over this, and he might actually be a solid choice for the role, but that also makes me want to puke. So I’ll throw in a dream bit of casting and hope for Philip Seymour Hoffman. He needs to lighten up a bit, and this could be the role for him to do it in. As a bonus, it would bring some immediate prestige to the project.
If he’s not available:
* Kevin James (Fine!)
* Wild-card: Dwayne Johnson (Rundown re-pairing! Perfecto!)
THE PROFESSOR
Rugged, handsome, intelligent…but maybe a bit on the dull side, or at least vanilla. Think Indiana Jones minus much of the charm. Greg Kinnear sure springs to mind, doesn’t he?
If he’s not available (though, really, why wouldn’t he be?):
* Simon Baker (Probably would end up the first choice for most people.)
* Hugh Laurie
* Josh Holloway
* Taye Diggs (Help save this man’s career…please!)
MARY-ANN
The one role I’m having trouble with; I’m not sure if there’s an “ideal” actress out there for this role, which probably just goes to show you that it’s a badly drawn caricature. All you need is a perky brunette that’s not too exotic-looking – in other words, a girl-next-door type. I narrowed it down to four, but in the end, I’m going against my own advice and casting the somewhat-exotic Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Mila Kunis.
If she’s not available:
* Katy Perry (I can virtually guarantee that she would get this role, especially after co-starring in The Smurfs.)
* Zooey Deschanel (Doppelgänger to Perry, right? Also, “It” girl du jour.)
* Mary-Louise Parker (Too old at 47, but she still looks a decade younger, at least)
GINGER
The easiest choice on the board by far. Christina Hendricks was born to play this role, and if she doesn’t get it, the chances of me seeing the film would go right out the door (following her, of course!).
If she’s not available:
* Rachel McAdams
* Rose McGowan
* Beyonce Knowles
MR. and MRS. HOWELL
I’ve had a lot of stunt casting in some of my secondary choices here, but I can’t help myself with this one. I held back on placing Michael Cera in the Gilligan role, but can you honestly think of a better pairing for Mr. and Mrs. Howell than his Arrested Development grandparents Jeffrey Tambor and Jessica Walter? I’ll save you the trouble: No…you can’t.
If they’re not available:
* Eddie Izzard (Too young, but I really like him for it for some reason.)
* Fred Willard
* Helen Mirren
* Bette Middler
* Christina Baranski
* Catharine O’Hara
Those are my choices – who’d make your cast?
Wayne (6)
Mette (4)
Nic Cage (4)
Sebastian (4)
steve (4)
John (3)
Nick (3)
Chip Lary (2)
Dan (2)
Before I started reading this, I immediately thought of Michael Cera as Gilligan. I’d take John C. Reilly as the Skipper, though.
Willard & O’Hara as the Howells might actually be the incentive for me to see a hypothetical ‘Gilligan’s Island’ movie.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:00 pm
Cera wouldn’t be a bad pick, per se, but can’t you hear the haters talking shit about how he always plays the same role already? If it in fact happened, such noise would be deafening.
I like Willard & O’Hara, but they’re a big backseat to Tambor & Walter.
Twitter: kaiderman
December 16, 2011 12:22 pm
I still want to sleep with Mary Ann and Ginger in your world so mission accomplished!!!
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:00 pm
Me too! Winner winner chicken dinner!
Twitter: ftstweets
December 16, 2011 12:54 pm
Great list! Your choices are pretty interesting. Jay Baruchel seems like a better casting choice than Michael Cera. I do like Simon Baker for the professor though. Also, I really hope this never happens.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:01 pm
Thanks, Jess! Curious – why do you want it to never happen? I only ask because I’m shocked that you’ve had a bunch of exposure to the TV show. Or does it just sound like a bad idea? What about the Munsters movie?
Twitter: ftstweets
December 16, 2011 1:09 pm
I watched TVland and Nick at Nite constantly as a kid so I’ve seen a bit of Gilligan’s Island. It’s not that I don’t want the sanctity of the show to be destroyed or anything like that. Rather I just feel like these updates of classic TV shows are usually pretty awful. I guess if it was well done I wouldn’t mind.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:13 pm
Fair enough. I figure that it’s inevitable that most of these things will get made (hence the post title), so I just try and hope for the best. Sure, most are awful, but we get some good ones every now and then (i.e. The Addams Family, and to a lesser extent, The Brady Bunch films).
I…have not a single suggestion, correction, or addition.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:03 pm
I think this makes me happy. This is due to your complete agreement and not simply because the thought of the film makes you sick, right?
Both, actually.
Twitter: joelburman
December 16, 2011 1:09 pm
To bad I really don’t have a connection to Gilligans Island. I remember zapping through it when I lived in the states.
However, Amy Adams should always be an alternative for a ginger role. =)
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 16, 2011 1:16 pm
You’re not missing much, just a small piece of American pop culture history. Are you more familiar with The Brady Bunch? They’re on a similar field of importance.
Adams could pull it off, but to me, Ginger has to be a more conventional Hollywood beauty. A spoiled starlet. In fact, I wonder if I could tie this into Michael’s post from earlier in the week and suggest Lindsay Lohan.
Also, if Megan Fox had redder hair or could pull off the look with a wig, she would be a good choice. But nay – it’s Hendricks all the way!
Twitter: callmesirphobos
December 19, 2011 9:58 pm
Lohan = no; Fox = hell no
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 21, 2011 3:26 pm
You have to admit that Fox has the looks and proper attitude to play the Ginger role. I don’t want it, either, but it’s not crazy talk.
Twitter: joelburman
December 16, 2011 1:26 pm
To be honest I had trouble keeping them apart.
During this time I was totally into older films so it was great having AMC and TCM so I didn’t spend that much time with classic sitcoms.
Great picks! Especially Philip Seymour Hoffman as Skipper and Jeffrey Tambor and Jessica Walter as Mr/Mrs Howell – perfect! I vote Emma Stone for Mary Ann though, super cute and smarter than Ginger.
Twitter: callmesirphobos
December 19, 2011 9:59 pm
I don’t think Emma Stone would work. She looks like a mix of the two characters or something.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 21, 2011 3:27 pm
Good point. I wasn’t in love with the Stone suggestion, but couldn’t put my finger on why. I think you have.
Twitter: callmesirphobos
December 19, 2011 10:06 pm
Alright, I’ll pick my people from the ones you threw out.
I’ll go with Jay Baruchel for Gilligan and pair him with The Hoff (not David). That pair is golden. I’m picturing Hoff calling him little buddy and taking his hat off in a tiff. Awesome. I wish I could go with Scott and The Rock, but I’ll hold out hope for The Rundown 2 instead.
Kinnear gets the professor role. Taye Diggs can go suck it.
Shit, I guess I like all of your first choices. Kunis as Mary-Ann? My god, yes. I love her.
I’ll throw one an alternate for Mr. Howell: Stephen Fry. Bam.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 21, 2011 3:30 pm
If I think a lot about the Scott/Rock pairing, I’ll eventually want that. It would actually be a somewhat inspired and gutsy move, and would bring some color into a lily white cast (since it always seems to go the other way). Though I wouldn’t balk at a Rundown sequel, either…
Explain your Diggs hate to me. I think the man should be a much bigger star. As mentioned on Twitter, see GO already and then get back to me. See it anyway (even if you already have) just because it’s a fucking awesome movie.
Stephen Fry would be a pretty sweet Mr. Howell.
Twitter: callmesirphobos
December 19, 2011 10:35 pm
The more I think about this, the more I want to see it. Shit.
Twitter: manilovefilms
December 21, 2011 3:27 pm
Haha – let’s get to work on it.
Interesting list, but here’s who I’d cast:
Gilligan……….. Michael Cera
Skipper……….. Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Ginger………… Christina Hendricks
Mary Ann……. Zooey Deschanel
Professor…… (Undecided)
Mr. Howell….. Steve Carell
Mrs. Howell… Amy Poehler or Tina Fey
(I know Steve, Amy, and Tina are a lot younger than Jim and Natalie, but I could just totally see them as those characters.)
Very similar to my picks:
Gilligan: Jay Baruchel
Skipper: John C Reilly/Alec Baldwin
Mary Ann: Katy Perry/Zooey Deschanel
Ginger: Christina Hendricks
Professor: John Hamm/Simon Baker
Mr Howell: John Lithgow
Mrs Howell: Susan Sarandon/Catherine O’Hara
Here’s something out of the box for you. How about casting Dreama Denver (Bob’s widow) in the part of Mrs. Howell? She is a stage actress and appeared as Lucinda in The Harlem Globe Trotters on GI. She has a morning radio show in WV and could easily fit the bill. Something to think about.
Forgot to check notify me. Let’s make this happen.
Twitter: manilovefilms
March 13, 2013 3:45 pm
That would be a very cool idea, Charlie. An elegant tie-in to the past, for sure. As for making it happen, well, these suggestions are about as far as I can go.