EDWARD FURLONG FEELING RELEVANT AGAIN AFTER SKID ROW MUGGING, BUT OVERALL RESISTANCE LEADERSHIP REMAINS QUESTIONABLE

Edward Furlong is fortunate that he only lost his wallet after being mugged while on an ill-advised stroll through L.A.’s infamous Skid Row recently, but the once promising star of Terminator 2 feels he has found something in return that takes the sting out of having to cancel all his credit cards. After TMZ reported the story on their popular gossip website, internet searches for the mostly annoying actor spiked making him somewhat relevant again. “Hey I’ll take what I can get,” says Furlong. “Arnold is on his comeback trail at the moment with Expendables 2 so why not me?”

Furlong filled out an incident report with a nearby cop after the mugging took place, and he was not questioned as to why he was roaming around in L.A. ‘s most wretched hive of scum and villainy. “They didn’t ask, so I didn’t tell,” said the future leader of the war against the machines.

The resistance leader did not divulge the reason he was on Skid Row to police

So has this recent surge in public curiosity paid off with any paying acting roles yet? “My agent is still waiting for his phone to ring, but we hear Tim Burton is wanting me to stunt double for Helena Bonham Carter in his next gothic masterpiece because I guess I kind of look like her,” Furlong said glibly. “That ought to keep the crack-pipes cooking for a bit longer….oops….did I just say that?”

Furlong could possibly use his uncanny resemblance to Bonham Carter to earn a paycheck

This isn’t the first time an actor playing John Connor has exhibited questionable behavior. T3 actor Nick Stahl recently disappeared for a lengthy amount of time, but has since resurfaced and checked himself into a drug rehab facility. Aside from an infantile tirade on the set of Terminator Salvation coupled with some relatively minor brushes with the law, Christian Bale has mostly been able to keep his douche-bag antics in check. Clearly there are prevalent character issues with all the John Connors, and fanboys of the franchise remain ever cautious about who the studios will choose next to lead them into battle.

Stahl’s John Connor is currently working the 12 steps

Bale remains a somewhat douchey, but relatively trouble free John Connor

Hopefully Furlong will make good use of his newly discovered relevance, but as of right now, the future doesn’t seem too bright for the leaders of the resistance. If studios are to move forward with another installment of the Terminator franchise, they’ll need to do some serious background checking when it comes to re-casting John Connor. An actor who has the courage of his convictions is needed. Only an actor who is unwavering in his faith would be able to lead his people out the ashes of the apocalypse on and off the screen. Man I Love Funny hereby nominates Kirk Cameron for the role. Judgement day is coming folks, and Kirk will most assuredly be ready when it gets here!

KIRK FOR CONNOR!