Everything Else, Man, I Love Funny — January 7, 2013 at 3:02 pm




Last week saw the release of Looper on DVD, and with it came the newest sweeping fad among young men: bad nose jobs based on their favorite celebrity. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is reportedly “pleased” about the situation and is considering going under the knife to keep his Bruce Willis schnoz from the movie. Similarly, the American countryside is teeming with people eager to permanently alter their appearance due to vanity, insanity, or a combination of the two.

Take Nathan Woodhouse, from Columbus, Ohio, for example. He happens to be a huge fan of Gerard Depardieu. What better way to celebrate his fandom than by making his nose look like Depardieu’s? “I thought the new nose would improve my life, but I didn’t think it would be this awesome. Maybe someday I can be in a great movie like Last Holiday!”


Depardieu’s honker is all the rage in Ohio

Meanwhile, in New York, Michael Humperdink has fashioned his beak after the Academy Award-winning actor, Adrien Brody. “It’s great, it really is. Not only do I look more like Mr. Brody, but now I can open soda cans by lunging at them with my face.”


A confident look is not complete without a sniffer like Adrien Brody’s

Lastly, in Tacoma, Washington, Julius McNamara is finally able to express his love for Morgan Freeman in ways other than merely staring longingly at pictures as they stream across his computer monitor in slow-motion. “I’ve been practicing my Morgan Freeman voice for the past couple of years, but people don’t seem to take me as seriously as they do Mr. Freeman. Having his nose should make people stand up and take note that I can narrate the shit out of a documentary.”


McNamara’s future in Hollywood is set

Man, I Love Funny doesn’t see the trend going away any time soon. There are plenty of celebrities and even more obsessive people out there just itching to get one step closer to their idols. For my part, I’m attempting to outdo the nose fad by going even further. That’s right, I had a procedure done on my entire face so that I can look exactly like Christopher Walken. I no longer have to dream.




  • This is just a lame rehash of those people in the 1940s who replaced their noses with wooden broom handles after watching Pinocchio! Luckily most of them were used for kindling during the war shortages…

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