It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Three wide releases this weekend, and all three sequels. Who says Hollywood has no more original stories? Still, I can’t get the memory of two weeks ago out of my head, when there was not a single new release given a wide distribution. You’re telling me that not a single one of these three couldn’t or wouldn’t have wanted to take an easy #1 at the box office that weekend, instead opting to battle it out now?
Anyway, this one. I can’t say that I’ve done extensive research, but I don’t know a single person that is excited for the Holmes sequel. For some reason, it feels like the first one was made 18 years ago instead of two; I feel like I should recall a whole hell of a lot more of that 2009 edition, though to be fair, I only saw it the once. Making matters no better is the utterly ‘blah’ trailer for this one, filled with way too much action and gunplay for what’s supposed to be a detective story (right?!?) and (groan) Holmes dolled up in drag as a disguise. Wicky wicky Wild Wild?
Still, it’s got Noomi vamping it up, and it’s not like Robert Downey, Jr. got terrible himself just because Iron Man 2 was a dud. I have a little faith that it will be quality, just not a lot of interest either way.
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 46%
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
As pointed out by me on a previous LAMBcast, how many times does this Hunt guy have to prove himself to be on the right side of IMF? Will he still be suspected of being a terrorist when MI:6 comes out (haha, as if Cruise will still be in the series by then)?
All of the hype in recent weeks for this has actually not been for this, sadly, but for the inclusion of a few minutes ofThe Dark Knight Rises that will be playing in front of it at select IMAX locations. Never a good sign when the big event film is less an event in and of itself and more one because of the commercials leading it off. The real story here should be the arrival of The Incredibles director Brad Bird taking the reins, though I can’t help but get the itch that this is the series where good directors make the stinkers in their resume. Ironically, Brian DePalma has received a ton of flak in his career, yet the first one in this series was the strongest to me. John Woo made an abortion of a “tearing off face masks” movie for the sequel (then again, he just might suck as a director overall; we’ve covered this, I believe) and J.J. Abrams made a pretty forgettable third edition. Here’s hoping Bird rubs a little Pixar magic onto Cruise, Pegg, Renner and the gang.
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 41%
I am curious, though – how do you get to be the director known for making (mostly) shitty family-friendly movies? Mike Mitchell’s recent resume includes Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Surviving Christmas, and Shrek Forever After – not exactly Oscar fare. But (short of being a friend of Adam Sandler’s…coughDennisDugancough), how does one keep getting work? And how do I specifically get this work? Seems like it would pay well…
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%