Everything Else, TGITDNMAR — January 25, 2012 at 3:00 pm

TGITDNMAR (1/27/12)


It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

The Grey
I’m going to be a very sad person within a bout five years. Perhaps I’m mistaken and it will be ten…but at some point, it is inevitable that Liam Neeson will no longer appear to be a 50-something year-old man.

For as long as I can remember, Neeson has been in his 50s (at least in my eyes).  I’ve conveniently either forgotten him or have only seen a single time just about any film of his prior to when he really started to earn global acclaim in 1993’s Schindler’s List.  Of course, he was over 40 at the time, and I was 16, so what’s the difference between a 40-year old and 50-year old at that age?

But Neeson has really been a 50-something ever since 1999’s most-talked about film of the year, The Phantom Menace.  Since then, it’s been a steady stream of mentors and grizzled last action heroes.  His pentagenarian status was perhaps never stronger than in 2008’s Taken, where he was a mean old dad to Maggie GRace and proceeded to personally kick the ass of every trashy Euro scum in his way to saving her.

But Neeson, born June 7, 1952, will turn 60 this year.  I’m sure his status as the premier 50-year old tough guy won’t change immediately (there’s a Taken sequel planned, of course!), but one day it will.  I would cry that day, but I’m pretty sure he’d kick my ass for even thinking of something as ludicrous as that.

For a serious look at this film, check out MILF contributor Brian’s review at his home site, a review declared by director Joe Carnahan to be “the single best review of The Grey that I’m likely to see.”

The percentage I’ve given below is less an indictment of my perception of the film’s quality than a reality of the timing of its release and my general interest in the subject matter.  I have plenty of films from 2011 to catch up on, so as much as I might be enjoying Carnahan’s career (I’ve enjoyed Smokin’ Aces and The A-Team more than I expected to), I just don’t see myself getting out to this one.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 38%

Man on a Ledge
You heard it here first: the Breakout Star of 2012 is going to be….Sam Worthington’s mullet!  First we get this action-thriller, then Wrath of the Titans, and we just might get to finish up the year with a film in post-production titled Drift that brings with it this plot summary, courtesy of IMDB: “In the 70s two brothers battle killer waves, conservative society and ruthless bikers to kick-start the modern surf industry.”  Yup, all I needed to read was “in the ’70s” to know that the mullet will live long and prosper throughout 2012.

What in the name of Martin Riggs is going on here?  As it turns out, the mullet and Sam go way back, to at least 2004, as a search turned up a film titled Somersault that he made while still a working actor toiling away in his pre-Terminator days.  Will hockey hair make a mainstream comeback thanks to Super Sam and his Incredible ‘Do?  Stay tuned… (No.)

I’d like to care more about Ledge, but I really just need to hear/read more about it one way or the other; right now, it just reminds me of Phone Booth for some reason, and I have bad memories there.  On the bright side, the supporting cast features some appealing names (Anthony Mackie, Jamie Bell, someone named “Genesis” and someone else named “Johnny Solo,” and oh yeah, “whatever happened to” Ed Burns).  I just don’t think that’ll be enough to pull me in on its own.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 16%

One for the Money
Look – it’s one of the surefire punching bags in Hollywood!  Trash Heigl and there will be nary a person around to chide you for it/stand up for her.  What a country!

I wonder if and when this beautiful phenomenon will wear off and/or end altogether, though?  I mean, if Lindsay Lohan can get public support for her 53rd comeback, can’t the people of America get behind some grassroots support for Miss Heigl?

No?  Alright, works for me.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%


  • I hadn’t even heard of One for the Money until like… yesterday when I saw a poster. As for Man on a Ledge, I’m actually kinda excited about it. It looks like fun, and they actually had the actors up on a ledge with only wires keeping them from death. And hey… I liked Phone Booth.

  • One for the Money actually looks a bit better than the usual Heigl fare, mostly because she seems less uptight and bitchy. I’m in no hurry to check out any of those though. All rentals at best.

  • Actually One for the Money is a really popular novel series so it might not be the usual Heigl crap. At least not if you’d ask my fiancée.

  • Go see The Grey.

    More tomorrow when I can freely talk about it.

    • So, yeah, now I’m not embargoed as the film is in theaters. Go see The Grey. Period. The one caveat I think critics and film writers should be offering is that expectations should be checked at the door; trailers and TV spots sell the film as “Taken with wolves”, which is complete and utter bullshit. This is not a movie where the heroes find their grit and fight back against nature. It’s aggressively bleak and endlessly brutal, with death flitting behind every tree trunk and lurking in the oppressive darkness.

      Catharses seen here give a form of hope, though, and in those moments the film is unexpectedly emotional and moving. I don’t think it’s that much of a surprise to learn that The Grey COULD have had an Oscar run for this year’s ceremony if the stars had aligned just so (Neeson was too busy filming Taken 2 to be available for the necessary media coverage, etc), and I hope the film’s re-release in October actually means that it could be up for contention.

      Yeah. I really liked it. Neeson’s performance moved me in a number of ways, and I actually got choked up a couple of times toward the end. So, basically, see it.

Leave a Reply

— required *

— required *