Everything Else, TGITDNMAR — February 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm

TGITDNMAR (2/17/12)

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It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

This Means War
And with Reese Witherspoon starring, this means I’ll probably be avoiding this movie.  Sorry, that was an easy, lazy joke (though it’s probably true).  Fact is, once upon a time, I would have called myself a fan of Ms. Pointy Chin, but the last film she was in that I even liked was in 2006 – Penelope – and she was barely in it (though she gets credit for producing it).  Prior to that, sure, you have a winner in Walk the Line in 2005, but before that?  I have to go back to the turn of the millennium to find her glory days (Election, American Psycho, Pleasantville).  Honestly, outside of the Legally Blonde films, her resume has me wondering how this quality actress ever turned into a “movie star.”  The connection is there for me, and it’s (again) all too easy: she’s the Vince Vaughn of actresses.  Or perhaps he’s the Reese Witherspoon of actors.  And all that really means is…avoid Four Christmases like the fucking plague.

A couple other random thoughts:

* Such a shame that this looks so bad, really, as it has two of the Hottest Young Turks in Hollywood today in Chris Pine and Tom Hardy.  Hopefully, I’m wrong and this turns out to be a great decision on both their parts, but…I wouldn’t count on it.

* This marks the 2nd nay 3rd crappy-looking film in six months for the man known to you and I as Hugo Stiglitz, after The Three Musketeers and New Year’s Eve.  Shit, man, just because English might not be your first language doesn’t mean you should be relegated to awful studio fare.  Someone help this man out and make him a star stateside.

* Some will be quick to dismiss this flick based solely on the fact that it’s directed by the stupidest name in Hollywood, McG.  I am not one of those people, as I’m instead one of the few that dug Terminator: Salvation (and We Are Marshall is decent enough, too).  I’d rather direct my hate towards the Ratners and Bays of the world, instead.

* And really…they couldn’t have just gotten the rights to use the name Spy Vs. Spy?

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 47%

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
I’m about the last person you might want to ask when looking for advice as it pertains to this film – I’m a notorious Nic Cage “anti-fan,” I never saw the first GR, and I’ve yet to see a single film from directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.

That said, I have an asshole and an opinion.  Far as I can tell, this sequel looks to be about 500x better and more kickass than the first installment, a fact that might have 100% to do with the fact that Cage himself is barely to be found in the trailer.  Truth is, the last one reeked of “shoddily and hastily made comic book adaptation” while this one feels like all those buzz words that studio execs love to say yet rarely actually produce: gritty, edgy, extreme, etc.  If the reviews come in good, I’ll be tempted to check out the first (abomination) and then catch-up with this one.

Of course, if you are looking for advice on whether or not to see this, who better to ask than the man himself (on the off-chance you haven’t seen this yet):

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 23%

11 Comments

  • This Means War is awful I watched it yesterday. Way to heavy on the rom com part and not really good in that part. It had some decent action towards the end but not enough to make it worth seeing at the cinema.

    At least I got double points on my cinema card since it was Valentine’s Day and my fiancée loved it so that was good.

    • Good job doing your part in the relationship, Joel. Too bad you had to kill two hours to do so. Then again, your taste is compromised…have you seen Big Miracle yet? I don’t recall seeing your reaction.

  • This Means War changing from R to PG-13 a couple weeks ago lost them my ticket. And while I think Chelsea Handler can be funny (forgive me), she seems way too friggin annoying in these trailers.

    • Chelsea Handler is less annoying to me the fewer clothes she’s wearing. Sorry ladies, it’s just true.

      I can’t really say that the rating change would have had any effect on my anticipation level for TMW, though, even if I had known about it.

  • Several thoughts…

    1) I’m oddly interested in THIS MEANS WAR. But what’s funny is that it’s the Chelsea Handler presence (not the ridiculous action and goofy humor) that is making me wary. Maybe just a rental for me…

    2) I hated GHOST RIDER. It was terrible. And you know I’m a Nic Cage apologist… HOWEVER… I’m very intrigued by the sequel. Maybe it’s Idris Elba. Maybe it’s the grittiness, as you point out. But I think I might be in. And I hope that I’m not proven wrong again…

    3) I had not seen the SNL sketch. Fantastic. One of the best things they’ve done in a long time. And good on Nic for being in on the joke. Thought it was really really funny.

    • 1. Take one for the team, Justin! (Provided Brian isn’t already planning on it.) 😉

      2. I get that – judging solely by the trailers, #2 plain and simple looks a shitload better than the first.

      3. Yeah, he was golden in it. I still gotta go back and check out Samberg’s earlier Cage performances. They’re probably not as good with “the clone” there, but worth a look, I’d imagine.

  • No interest in either. Most likely two forgettable movies at best.

  • I remember first seeing the trailer for This Means War and thinking, “oh, cool, Pine and Hardy in a movie together”. Then Reese Witherspoon showed up and the record skipped.

    I almost saw Ghost Rider last night but I had other priorities. Everything I’ve heard about it makes it sound like a shoe-in for “worst movie of the year”.

    • What might be funnier is that, despite what you’ve said about GR2, I went to Rotten Tomatoes and the consensus seems to be that it’s still better than the first (despite having a score of 13%). Christ, is the first one THAT bad?!?

      This Means War is getting similarly trounced. Bad move, HardyPine.

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