TGITDNMAR (5/11/12)

It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

Dark Shadows
So, I didn’t mean for this post to be six hours late, but after seeing the slate of films (an overstatement if ever there was one, considering this is the only wide release film this weekend), would anyone have blamed me for skipping out altogether?

After the high for Hollywood that was last week and The Avengers, we’re back to the strangeness (given the season we’re in) that is a week with zero appealing new releases.  There was nothing in the week prior to Joss Whedon’s blockbuster to whet our appetites, and this piece of Burton-y leftover is all we get in the following week.  I suppose it’s not all that surprising – perhaps we should be applauding the studios for being wise enough to foresee the six-headed superhero beast from May 4th and steering clear of it with all their might.

Still, we are indeed in “summer movie season”…and this…is what we have.  The trifecta of rehashes, the evil trio of cutesy gothness themselves – that’s right, Burton, Depp, and Carter.  I’m all for actor/director collaborations – some can be great, like Pitt and Fincher or Anderson and Murray – but what is this, the 18th film with these three in the last decade?  It sure feels that way, and the diminishing returns aren’t helping the situation one bit.

As for the particulars of this film…had it been released a decade ago, I can honestly see it being potentially successful.  After all, it’s basically an alternate version of Austin Powers, right (mixed with The Addams Family – which should have been a Burton film from way back in the day)?  Today, however, aside from it generally feeling dated (what, no “Y.M.C.A.” in the trailer?), it kind of just makes me sad that John Depp – nearing 50 – is still playing (and looking like) pixie-ish boys.  You’re more than capable of playing adults, Johnny.  Perhaps it’s time to leave Timmy and Helen in the sandbox (covered in spiderwebs, no doubt) and go sit at the grown-ups table.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 14%