TGITDNMAR (6/22/12)

It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

Oh, good god – can’t it be July 20th already?

Brave
I’ve yet to fully make up my mind on this latest entry from Pixar (and, oh yeah, you too, Disney!).

If the name Pixar weren’t attached, it would likely be a relatively straightforward “no thanks” from my direction: the themes and plotting seem so plainly obvious and overdone: tomboy wants her independence and to not be treated like such a priss, only to be placed in a situation where her false bravado is put to the test.  Have I nailed it?  Throw in the fact that How to Train Your Dragon more or less stole a bit of the thunder here (the period-piece nature, the Scottish accents…because Vikings were Scottish, of course…??) and you have a recipe for “meh.”

However, we can’t ignore that that name is attached, and until Cars 4 comes out or the company goes on a glorious downslide in terms of quality, we’re still going to treat every film of theirs that comes out as being potentially great.  I can’t ignore that, either, so (pending the word on the street), I’ll probably be there to see it as well, despite my initial reaction.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 73%

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
I’m still not exactly sure why the concept in general here is obviously not something that bothered me all that much (ie I gave a laugh like everyone else when first hearing about the book), but that the trailer and idea of this being an actual film trouble me so.  Why should it matter whether or not Honest Abe is axing his way through the undead on the page or on the screen?

I don’t know, but it does.  To be fair, the execution here looks like it might actually be solid (the second trailer was worlds better than the first, with an impressive sweeping panorama of mid-19th century Washington, D.C.), but actually seeing a fictional account of our most revered Presidents has me worried for the future of film.  And yet, I realize, this line of thinking is incredibly ludicrous in a world where you can purchase anything Baby Jesus-related that your mind could possibly wonder to, or watch films like Idiocracy wherein the sitting President is a former porn star and Charlie Chaplin ruled Germany through World War II.  These are fictions…and yet this one bothers me.  I can’t explain it, and I’m sorry.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 27%

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
It wasn’t until just a few days ago that I finally saw this trailer for the first time.  I mean, the lead cast and the title pretty much tell you a lot of what to expect, but it wasn’t until I actually saw it that I realized what SaFftEotW (note: worst. acronym. ever.) really was.

That’s right, Melancholia for people that don’t hate themselves.

Now, this one might not have an perky American actress keen on employing a Brit accent in it doffing her top (and bottom), but it does have a perky Brit actress keen on employing her American accent (and probably not doffing her top, though she’s no stranger to that, either).  And it might not have members of the Swedish Acting Royal Family (Stellan and Alexander Skarsgård, of course), but it does have Rob Corddry and Melanie Lynskey, so it’s got that going for it, which is nice.

To be honest, as much as I’d like to sit here and blast the hateable characters in Melancholia all day, fact of the matter is that this film, while seeming to make me want to kill myself less, still features two stars that I could mostly not care less about.  Carrell has long seemed to me to be an amicable fellow who’s really not all that funny on his own; he might have ripped it up at the start of The Office, but he just seems to be more of a pop star than a singer-songwriter: give him good material and he’ll be solid, but he’s not funny in his own right.  Maybe I’m off-base there.  And Knightley, while taking much more of a drubbing for her Pirates appearances than she probably ever deserved, still leaves me relatively “blah” as an actress.  Pretty-but-boring.  Hopefully the film will prove me wrong on all counts.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 44%