TGITDNMAR (8/3/12)

It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

Total Recall
If  I were to grade a film solely on what I’d seen of it prior to its release, Recall would be scoring pretty well.  Despite the “Nay!” that some have spoken, Jessica Biel is a tremendous choice for Melina (especially when you consider that it was -  no offense – Rachel Ticotin last time.  No contest!).  Kate Beckinsale looks to possibly out-Stone Sharon Stone.  Colin Farrell, while not being the manly man that Ahnuld was, is still capable of coming off as every bit the lean, mean fighting machine that Matt Damon does.  And trading Ronny Cox and Michael Ironside for Bryan Cranston and Bill Nighy (I’m guessing)?  Hell, I love Michael Ironside, but I’ll take that as a fair trade.

Sidenote: how genius would it have been for them to cast Cranston’s Breaking Bad castmate Dean Norris…only a vet of the original…in the same role as Tony?  Do they have “my Total Recall is better!!” fights?  I must know these things.

Anyway, the cast is great and it looks, fittingly given the source author, to be set in a world not too far from Minority Report‘s.  The cherry on top?  It was already an awesome story, with the only downer being the news that they won’t be headed back to Mars.

So why am I worried?  Is it as simple as these three words: director Len Wiseman?

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 88%

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
Words words words.

Never seen one of these.  Don’t have an 8-year old boy living in my house, so I probably never will, either.  They don’t strike me as being exceptionally good or bad, so they just exist, neither offending nor interesting me, save for when I’m forced to watch their marketing, upon which I get annoyed.

I’d be interested to hear what you all think have been the best pre-teen (or just kids) movies released since 2000 (Pixar excluded…hell, let’s exclude all animation to really make it interesting).  My list would include Holes (which would have been one of my favorites had I been a child when I saw it) and…ummm…well, City of Ember was pretty cool.  Uhhh…The Spiderwick Chronicles, maybe?  Arthur and the Invisibles, I guess?  Obviously, coming up with them off the top of my head isn’t working.  Help me out here.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

LIMITED RELEASE LOOK

I can’t help but wonder how much regret Paul Schneider has for leaving Parks & Rec.  Now, the choice to leave might not have been entirely his own, but the facts are these: a) despite him being a valuable member of the cast, you can’t argue that Parks hasn’t become more criticially-acclaimed (and popular) since the start of season three; and b) his film career hasn’t exactly taken off.  I’m not trying to say the show got better because he left (and if it has or hasn’t, it hasn’t been due to his leaving) or that he pulled a Caruso (since, again, I’m not exactly sure whose call it was in the end), but he’s gone and it’s a better show and that’s that.  Meanwhile, he stars in this week’s The Babymakers.  It’s supposedly a Broken Lizard film, but I don’t see how that can be since they didn’t write or produce it and, as far as I can tell, only 2/5 of them are involved with it.  Still, after the sublime Super Troopers and the “ok” Club Dredd and Beerfest, I root for them and Schneider all the same.

In other Parks & Rec news, another limited release flick out this week is Celeste and Jesse Forever, which stars Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg.  Judging by the early reviews, it’s somewhere between “traditional rom-com,” (500) Days of Summer, and Away We Go, all the while being upfront about itself being a quasi-traditional rom-com.  At the least, it sounds worth seeing to catch Samberg’s not-serious-but-not-silly performance – in other words, he plays a grown-up and not a child.  Interesting.  Jones, meanwhile, is long overdue for at least a chance to headline something after what feels like decades of playing the sister/best friend role to a tee.