It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.
Looper
At long last, the spin-off we’ve all been waiting for is here. It’s been over thirty years since we first heard the inspirational story of a man traveling halfway around the world, only to be put to the test against one of the foremost minds in recent history.
That’s right: we finally get to learn more about Carl Spackler caddying for the Dalai Lama.
Or, I could just say, “Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper Looper,” since that’s about as eloquent as most of the people anticipating this (like myself or Cinematic Captions’ Sebastian, for example) have been able to be about it.
It’s pretty simple, really: most people lost their shit over Brick, felt similarly about The Brothers Bloom, and now director Rian Johnson is putting out a badass time travel flick with his first film’s star (JoGo, natch) and Bruce Willis. It’s a wet dream (and I wasn’t even one of those people that went gaga over his first two films; Brick is good but I don’t love it, and I didn’t much care for Bloom).
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 100%
Hotel Transylvania
On the exact opposite side of the spectrum sits this animated film that no one in their right minds (or over the age of 11) could possibly be looking forward to. Why’s that? Because it’s the latest Adam Sandler & Family production, with the entire gang in tow to provide outlandish voices and insert toilet humor (no doubt) into a Dracula-ish film. Look, there’s Kevin James! Hey, there’s Allen Covert and Steve Buscemi! Oh…poor Andy Samberg has been officially inducted into the troupe (joining former SNL flameouts Molly Shannon, Jon Lovitz and David Spade, amongst others; my how they love to feed from the Sandler teat). Hey, there’s –
WHERE THE F$@! IS ROB SCHNEIDER?!?
What, like he was busy (making something else awful)? Did they have a falling out? Someone get to the bottom of this, and pronto. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%
Won’t Back Down
I can’t wait until the sequel comes out in 2014: Free Fallin’.
That’s right – Tom Petty Full Moon Fever humor, everyone!
Anyway, I saw this trailer once and thought to myself, “Hmm, that looks like it will be inspiring and well-meaning and well-acted and I’ll never, ever see it.” Sorry, Viola and Maggie, but I just can’t psych myself into getting interesting in seeing Lean on Me from the point-of-view of the chief from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (You earn a billion brownie points in my book if that reference made all of the appropriate connections in your brain like it does for mine.) Hell, I’d much rather watch Morgan “Batman” Freeman get pissed at 25 year-old goomba high school students with bad mullets.
Christ, that’s a fun movie to watch…which I can’t possibly imagine Won’t Back Down to be.
Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 7%
LIMITED RELEASE LOOK
Nothing of note. Pitch Perfect with Anna Kendrick is probably the leader here, but only because I would have assumed it was a wide release based on the SongPop (go ahead, try and beat me!) sponsorship I’ve been seeing for the last week or so, but alas, it is not. The bad news: it’s a musical; the good news: it’s made by the director of the Broadway hit Avenue Q, a hilarious adult parody of Sesame Street (which I saw in Vegas once upon a time). So who knows, it could be provocative.
Wayne (6)
Mette (4)
Nic Cage (4)
Sebastian (4)
steve (4)
John (3)
Nick (3)
Chip Lary (2)
Dan (2)
Her name is Lynne Thigpen, and I was momentarily sad to see that she died in 2003. That Carmen Sandiego show has a very small window of people who remember it, of which we are on the high end, age-wise. So you’re saying Viola plays a bitchy mother of one of the students? Gimme my brownie points.
Twitter: manilovefilms
September 26, 2012 3:38 pm
Oh, I know her name – I had to fact-check myself just to be 100% sure. I doubt I even watched a full episode of that show (like you said, we were a bit old for it), but I knew she was on it. Forgot she died – yeah, that does suck.
Actually, it looks more like Gyllenhaal is the bitchy parent, but read the synopsis of Won’t Back Down and tell me it doesn’t give you vibes from those parents/Freeman scene(s) in Lean on Me.
Twitter: manilovefilms
September 26, 2012 3:38 pm
Oh, and yes, you earned your brownie points.
Twitter: agracru
September 27, 2012 10:35 am
I’m one of the people who loves Brick, but like you I also didn’t much care for The Brothers Bloom– I think it seriously underdevelops the relationship between Bloom and Stephen, which should basically serve as the core of the whole thing; the heist/con matters more than their brotherhood. So Looper being so good is a great relief. I honestly think it might rival Brick as Johnson’s best film, which makes me think he should stick to one-word titles from now on.
One other thing that comes out Friday (at least for me): Solomon Kane. The movie shares a gene pool with Van Helsing and Season of the Witch, but unlike those two train wrecks it’s actually pretty damn solid. It relies heavily on James Purefoy’s grim charisma to carry events, but that’s hardly a crime, and the whole thing is appropriately violent and filled with some solid effects and design (barring a couple of spotty CGI creations here and there).
Twitter: manilovefilms
October 1, 2012 9:09 pm
I’ll take Looper over Brick, for sure, though to be fair, I wouldn’t mind catching Brick again sometime in the next couple years. It really is effective and fun, I just didn’t fall head-over-heels for it, and I thought Haas’ character was pretty laughable (and so not intimidating).
I like the name Solomon Kane, but despite your good words on it, I can’t muster up any interest. Never saw the two lesser films you point out either, though.
Twitter: agracru
October 2, 2012 6:25 am
It’s a close call for me, since I love them both immensely, but I do think Looper at LEAST rivals Brick. It’s a great film. Certainly there’s nothing wrong with arguing it’s Johnson’s best film, which I well may.
Kane isn’t a must-see but if you’ve ever got an hour and a half to kill and opportunity to see it, you can do so much worse. For example, you could watch Season of the Witch or Van Helsing.
Hint: both of those films suck.