Well my wish didn’t come true…

But damn, that was funny anyway. See for yourself:

I don’t want to see anything else. I’m already there. No questions asked.

“Oh, it was my hand.”

Welcome back Ron Burgundy.

♥♥♥♥♥

What you would not find are homey locals who sound like they come from Kentucky and dress like they stepped out of The Beverly Hillbillies, or Duck’s Dynasty.  We do not mosey up to bars and ask you if you’re city folk.  Many of us have lived in New York City.  Many of us own a TV.

I don’t know what’s the matter with Hollywood when it comes to rural America.  By rural America, I’m pretty much talking about everything out of cities or suburbia, which Hollywood has decided is made up primarily of cows, rolling fields and pickup trucks from the 1980s.  Rural Americans seem to fall into two categories in Hollywoodland: the racist/sexist/homophobic hick, or the charming/adorable/heartland/connected to the land hick.  Both are equally offensive.

I’m sorry to say that this has nothing to do with politics.  Many of the films that bother me in their representations of rural America are the sort of social empowerment and reform films that I happen to agree with on a political level.  Films like Promised Land, a story about hydrofracking and its effect on small-town America, and Winter’s Bone, about poverty and family in the Ozarks. Films like Vera Farmiga’s Higher Ground, which deals with the changing cultish mentality of some splinter Christian groups in upstate New York.  As someone who has had her fair share of experiences with Christian youth groups and evangelical mentalities – and can see an evangelist coming from a mile away – I was looking forward to that film. But then I discovered that apparently everyone from rural upstate New York sound like they come from Texas.

At their best, these films raise the the issues of rural poverty, the slow destruction of the farm, the mistreatment of the impoverished.  But the inhabitants of the Ozarks and the inhabitants of the Catskills come off the same – folksy, a little dumb, a little gullible, enmeshed in regional and ancestral conflict that feels more like the 1880s than the 2010s.  The filmmakers seem to view rural America as an elaborate sociological study, as though they’re trying to ‘tell the truth’ about ‘these people,’ as though rural America is a civilization just discovered by enlightened city folk.  Even when Hollywood tries to be understanding and liberal and depict the trials and tribulations of life in rural America, the films very often come off as either overly simplistic or patronizing.

It’s where the city people go to ‘get back to nature,’ to re-discover the meaning of their lives, where the cynical become better people by defending those who, apparently, cannot defend themselves.  The lead gets good advice from a wise old man in flannel, looking out over the land his granddaddy left him.  Then there’s the pretty school teacher, who knows all her kids and cares deeply about them, who moved out here to escape from the big city, becomes the source of comfort and domesticity and the prizing of the American home.  Or, alternatively, the rural world is a netherworld of vice, incest, domestic violence, bigotry masquerading as Christian values, and racism.  Contemporary Hollywood has reinvented rural America into the frontier – in the absence of frontier civilization that needs defending from the encroachment of big cattle, small-town America needs defending from the encroachment of the city.  Enter the righteous gunslinger, or well-meaning city boy, there to save the day and redeem his soul.

This is not to say that there isn’t something in the beauty of small town life, or that there aren’t problems with racism, bigotry and poverty in rural America.  But the view that Hollywood films take are so simplistic and, more offensively, so patronizing, that any real pretensions to social change or the depiction of real conflict becomes subsumed.  Americans from Kentucky do not sound, look or act like Americans from upstate New York.  Everyone with a tractor does not wear a baseball cap and use phrases like ‘My Daddy left this farm to me.’  Despite the strongly held beliefs of the filmmakers of Winter’s Bone, there are grocery stores in the Ozarks, and they are not all filled with squirrel meat.

This is prejudice.  This is a view of an entire country as interchangeable, something to be investigated and documented the way we make documentaries about chimpanzees.  No wonder so many rural Americans distrust people from cities.  And the depictions do affect that way we perceive others in real life.  The city in film might be a center of rampant consumerism and soul-sucking jobs, but it remains more important than the interchangeable heartland.  All the folks empowered to do something come from the city.  New York and LA are constantly being depicted as the only cities in America, and certainly the only important one.  I come from the city, where the culture is.  You come from the country, where the nostalgia is.  We don’t take kindly to your sort ’round here.

Man, I can’t wait for this movie.

This went up on the Anchorman Facebook page today, teasing a new trailer to be released tomorrow. I know my hopes for a world where the only trailers for this film are exactly like the first two won’t come true (don’t show us footage, dammit!) but I am intrigued to see our favorite newscasters in action again.

Christmas can’t come soon enough!

A frantic Manni (Moritz Bleibtreu) calls his girlfriend Lola (Franka Potente) in disbelief that today, of all days, she proves unreliable. A petty thug, Manni sold a bunch of cars for big-time criminal Ronnie (Heino Ferch) for 100,000 German marks. Her moped stolen, Lola was late to pick him up, so he takes the subway only to accidentally leave the bag full of money on the train where a bum (Joachim Król) snatches it. He’s got twenty minutes to cover his mistake or Ronnie will kill him. Lola resolves to sort it all out for him, but a doubtful Manni plans to rob the nearby supermarket if she doesn’t come through in time. Lola decides to solicit her father (Herbert Knaup), manager of the Deutsche Transfer Bank, for the money and races out of her apartment and, moped-less, onto the streets of Berlin.

Run Lola Run is written and directed by Tom Tykwer, most recently known for his work adapting Cloud Atlas alongside the Wachowskis. Giving his protagonist only twenty minutes to resolve the crisis at hand leaves a lot of feature-length space to fill. Tylwer deals with this shortfall by having Lola “run” three different scenarios, each culminating in an alternate outcome for herself, Manni, and others.

During her mad dashes, Lola comes across several people; a surly mother and baby, a bike thief, and a bank employee before confronting her father. With each encounter, the focus shifts from Lola’s focused sprinting to the bystander, and through a series of photographs, their future is foretold. Slight differences at Lola’s start create seemingly small changes in their interactions, but those lead to massive variations in their futures. This butterfly effect also changes what occurs when Lola crosses paths with the sticky-fingered homeless man, a distracted driver, and an ambulance and how the meeting with her father transpires.

Run Lola Run begins with a prologue to Lola and Manni’s story, which according to Wikipedia, clearly establishes the themes the film sets out to question, but if you’re like me, that jibber-jabber just kind of floats in one ear and out the other. I view it as Lola, with her flame-red hair and glass-shattering screams, is a force of nature and anyone sucked into her slipstream has their lives irrevocably altered. Maybe that’s the deeper meaning and maybe not, but either perspective is still of a highly engaging film.

That’s because even if you don’t fully grasp all the alternate-reality, repeated-reality, future-forecasting, whatever-ever going on, Run Lola Run charges daringly at its viewer at a breakneck pace. Tykwer utilizes animation, split screens, jump-cuts, sight and sound repetition, and a soundtrack featuring heart-pounding techno music (co-written by him) to keep the film as visually and acoustically adrenalizing as its premise and resolution is mentally stimulating.

For all its praise and awards, Run Lola Run still has its detractors, but obviously I’m not one of them. Unless the clever visuals, electronic beats, or enterprising storytelling simply turn you off from the start, Run Lola Run is a masterful, fast-paced film with enough layers to have you racing through it time and again.

♥♥♥♥1/2

Sony must be seeing what both Marvel (with The Avengers and all the other Phase Whatever movies) and Warner Bros. (with the Man of Steel sequel talk and the potentially inevitable Justice League plans) are doing and figure they better strike while the iron is hot. In light of all of this superhero movie craziness, Sony has announced the release dates for a third and fourth Amazing Spider-Man film, following the sequel which hits theaters May 2, 2014. The third movie will be released on June 10, 2016 and the fourth will be released on May 4, 2018, marking an every-other-year scenario for every film in the series (the first film hit theaters last July).

There has been much in the way of development for the second film which is filming now. In addition to Jamie Foxx’s Electro and Paul Giamatti’s Rhino, Colm Feore has been confirmed as playing the Vulture and the film also features Dane DeHaan as Harry Osborne and Chris Cooper as Norman Osbore, all potential villains in this world that Marc Webb is creating. Is a Sinister Six film in the works? It certainly looks that way… And do you think Marc Webb will be keeping the reins for the sequels or is his stay done after the first sequel next year?

What do you think? Is there too much villainy in store for Spidey? Are you having Spider-Man 3 flashbacks with all that horrible Topher Grace/Thomas Haden Church nonsense giving us villain overload? Or is this a great idea to spur on some huge Spidey flicks? Let us know below!

Robert Rodriguez’s sequel of Frank Miller’s Sin City, subtitled A Dame to Kill For, was originally planned for release this October. Rodriguez also has Machete Kills coming out in September and maybe because of that possible conflict, the Sin City sequel has been pushed all the way back to August 2014. The film, starring a ton of big names (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Josh Brolin (replacing Clive Owen as Dwight) and Ray Liotta, among many others) is pretty highly anticipated and you have to wonder if there are other things at work here with it being pushed back. Is it being converted to 3D (a la G.I. Joe: Retaliation)? Is it having some shooting issues? Is it really just as simple as Rodriguez not wanting two movies coming out a month apart?

Give us your thoughts below.

Long before Peter Jackson became known for becoming J.R.R. Tolkien or remaking King Kong, he was that big, hairy fella from New Zealand known for grossout horror comedies. His third feature was 1992′s Dead Alive , a film that wasn’t received all that well two decades ago but is now seen as a cult classic. The gang from French Toast Sunday championed the film after barely losing out to American Psycho last month.

Before we get to the links, here’s the IMDb summary for the film, for those that aren’t familiar with it:

“A young man’s mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors.”

Now, let’s see what your fellow LAMBs had to say about it. Thanks to the LAMBs that sent in their posts for this edition of the MOTM.

* French Toast Sunday (1)

* French Toast Sunday (2)

* Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions

* Reel Thoughts of Jacki K

* Silver Emulsion Film Reviews

It’s also time to vote on next month’s movie. Once again, I put out the call for MOTM Champions…but heard crickets coming back at me, save for your shepherd Joel Burman. It’s kind of been this way for a few months, so as such, I’m killing the Champions angle to the MOTM. Joel will get his selection (to be named in a few days), but going forward I will simply come up with five films to vote on each month. If you’d like to suggest films for me to include in the poll, I’d be happy to include them. Thanks to all the Champions we’ve had over the last couple years.

Also, I should mention that the blog-a-thon angle to the MOTM is on the ropes as well. We had a decent (life-saving) turnout this month, and it’s only thanks to the four sites you see above that it will remain on life support for at least another month. If you like getting this aspect to the MOTM (or just like being linked), hit me up with your links for the MOTM each month!

As we do every month, the LAMBcast is tied in with the MOTM. This time around, Lindsay and Jess of FTS hosted the discussion on the MOTM, and were joined by Jay, Dan and Kristen.

Also on tap:

* Rants and Raves of the Week
* Last LAMB Standing

A couple notes:

* The show can be found, of course, via iTunes – just do a search for “LAMBcast.” Also, I always post a link to the show on the LAMBcast’s Facebook page, and there’s a player there if you’d like to listen online.

* Shows will eventually make their way to the LAMBcast Archives. If you’d ever like to catch up on back episodes, go there.

* If you’re interested, you too can be a LAMBcaster – we love new blood! For more information on the LAMBcast, check out the topic at the LAMB Forums. Music provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod’s Incompetech website. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service. Opening song by Cake. The LAMBcast loves feedback, too – if you’d like yours read on a future show, leave it in the comments section at the LAMB. Please visit and like our Facebook page, and finally, we’re on iTunes, and would still love a review, even if it’s a bad one.

Thanks for listening!

For the 69th episode of the MILFcast, I am joined by my co-host Heather Baxendale (of Man, I Love Films) and guest Daniel Lackey (of the Forced Viewing Podcast) to discuss the following:

- What we’ve been watching (Silver Linings Playbook, Evil Dead, The ABCs of Death).

- We each pick three films from the last 10 years that are bound for Cult Classic status.

- We answer The Serious 7.

- We finish with THE GAME!!!

You can follow Kai on PopCircle by CLICKING HERE!!!
You can follow Kai & Heather on Twitter: @kaiderman @heather_kenobi
You can follow our guest on Twitter as well: @ForcedViewing @Lackey_D

Here are the standings for THE GAME:
1. Chris Tanski – 18 points
2. Lauren HB – 17 points
3. Ryan Haggerty – 16 points
4. Jose Prendes – 15 points
5. Dylan Fields – 15 points
6. Scot Nolahn – 15 points
7. Rachel Thuro – 12 points
8. Joel Burman – 9 points
9. Jessica Rogers – 7 points

If you have a question for Heather, you can e-mail it to kai@manilovefilms.com or leave it in the comments section below.

You can find MILFcast on podOmatic by clicking here. You can also subscribe or download for free on iTunes. If you like the show, please leave us some feedback on iTunes. Please drop a comment, request an older episode or leave any feedback on the episode below at:kai@manilovefilms.com

Music for the podcast provided by Man, I Love Films’ own Steve Bush. See all of Steve’s original music, or contact him to get some of your own, by clicking here!!!

And it looks like we might just have that elusive Oscar win for Mr. Dicaprio…

Coming off the highlight-filled performance in Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, Leonardo Dicaprio is back with director buddy Martin Scorsese for The Wolf of Wall Street, which based on this first trailer alone, is going to be getting Oscar buzz from jump street. Co-starring Jonah Hill, Matthew McConaughey, and Kyle Chandler (Coach Taylor!) this looks like a combination of tons-of-fun and fantastic performances.

I can’t wait.

I mean, c’mon… A few weeks ago, the trailer for Don Jon was called by some to be the best trailer of 2013 (it’s a reputable source) but this one gives it a run for its money. The music (I believe that’s a Jay-Z track) and the cuts make you wanting more but also not giving away too much. Everyone looks fantastic and I love everything about this trailer. Maybe this time, (THIS TIME!) the Academy will recognize the greatness of Leo and hopefully he can get that much-coveted award.

♥♥♥♥♥

Don’t disagree with me on this one, because you’ll be wrong.

Directed by Tommy Wirkola and produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a continuation of the 1812 Brothers Grimm german folktale, “Hansel and Gretel” of which anyone with a childhood should be familiar. The film takes place in the future, after young Hansel and Gretel have defeated the evil with in the woods with the candy house, they grow up to be the protectors of their village, and hunt witches on the regular. But when several of the children from the village go missing, it’s up to the brother and sister duo to rescue them before it’s too late. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a dark, action-adventure film which is oddly adult in nature but campy enough to keep audiences laughing, even though I’m not entirely sure that was the point.

The Good:

The Kill Count:

The best part of this film is all the different gruesome, bloody and clever killings. As mentioned, this folktale continuation is certainly not meant for the same audience as a Disney flick, but that sort of gave this film a bit of awesomesness in between it’s relatively dull everything else. Sort of reminiscent of other awesomely bad films like The Expendables 2, this movie amped up the insanity, Walking Dead style. There were guns, crossbows, decapitations, exploding bodies and so many more fun-to-watch deaths, that at the very least, you could be entertained.

Famke Janssen goes from Super Hot to Super Scary

Another coolish aspect of the film was the special effects. Wirkola has noted he’s been inspired by other successful CGI users like Raimi and Jackson, and that he enjoys using the computer technology to polish what he’d already filmed. Personally, I don’t think the CGI was quite on the level of either of those directors, but it does fit in nicely with the overall cheesyness of the film. Famke Janssen, easily one of the most visually stunning stars in Hollywood, portrays one of the head honcho witches, and her prosthetics made her virtually unrecognizable. Her face would transform from her natural angelic, porcelain face to an actually pretty terrifying old witch, that kind of resembled The Thing. The medium paced facial transition was so smooth, it was hard to tell when her face exactly changed, and I thought that was pretty spot on. In fact, all the scary witch creatures were different, unique and pretty cool. In one scene where a bunch of the witches gather, it was fun to look at all the different variations and liberties the special effects and prosthetics teams were able to communicate.

The Bad:

Pretty Much Everything Else and The Uncomfortable Incest:

This film was entertaining at best, for the reasons mentioned above, but that was pretty much it. There’s no real reason to ever see this movie. It does set itself up for a potential sequel, and actually made 4 times it’s cost in the box office, but it’s not necessarily worth getting invested. If you want a movie you can talk throughout most of, while watching with a group a friends, and maybe making a drinking game out of the kills or something, then yeah, spend $1 to watch this, but I doubt you’ll be recommending it.

One thing that was particularly odd, was the weirdly romantic relationship between brother and sister Hansel and Gretel (given, I’ve never been to Germany so maybe the sibling relationships are just closer there). It was oddly romantic, and kind of gross from time to time. My brother is 2 years older than me, and although we aren’t besties, we do have a pretty solid relationship, and even I wouldn’t touch him the way Hansel and Gretel were all about each other. It was bizarre and made us all a bit queazy, wondering, who decided on this character interaction?

Overall:

This movie really isn’t terrible, it just doesn’t offer anything. The producer combo of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay definitely shines through during some of the tongue-in-cheek comedic moments, which, along with the campy killings, allowed this film to have some redemption. The mature nature of this film, sort of limits the audience that I would’ve normally pegged to have been interested in this film, but it’s still relatively tolerable in it’s own right. In general, if you simply must see this movie, take it with a grain of salt, and don’t expect anything too serious. I doubt you’ll walk away miserable, but I also doubt you’ll walk away satisfied, and that’s typically one of the things I look for when a movie ends.

♥♥1/2