Andrew (24)
Dave Enkosky (15)
Wayne (13)
Pete (12)
Mike (11)
Sir Phobos (11)
Andy (9)
justin (9)
Lauren (8)
Fitz (7)
Let’s face it: love it or hate it – and I know plenty of folks on either side of that fight – Southland Tales is one hell of a memorable flick. Director Richard Kelly chocked the damn thing full of a cast of dozens (there are no less than five former Saturday Night Live players alone), singing, animation, a plot more convoluted than 1,000 Rubik’s Cubes and harder to understand than 12 David Lynch films. Of course, that’s not to say that it’s without its charms, several of which will make this list – things either so sublime (the soundtrack, Dwayne Johnson’s gonzo performance, Seann William Scott’s committed performance) or ridiculous (hand-chopping, Wallace Shawn, talk shows hosted by porn stars) that I find it impossible to hate. Here, I give you the five most head-scratching events:
5. ANY TIME BAI LING SPEAKS
I’m not positive, but I believe Bai Ling puts our own Heather Leigh to shame – she’s certifiably insane (in real life), and that nuttiness more than transfers to her onscreen performances. Sure, the accent plays into it, but it combined with her wardrobe combined with the lines Kelly feeds her all melds into one big ball of overly sexualized crazy.
4. THE DELAYED MIRROR
I wouldn’t know anything about doing drugs (“Drugs are bad, mmmkay?”), but if I did, I would think that watching this seems-so-simple-it’s-brilliant effect would be as big a head trip for the viewer as it is for Scott’s character. He’s on Liquid Karma (or whatever the drug is) and seeing an ever-so-slightly delayed version of himself…you might end up seeing more than double.
3. JON LOVITZ SHOWING UP…AND GOING NUTS
If you could tell me what Lovitz’s prior film role to this one in 2006 was without looking it up, I’d be mighty shocked and might even buy you a cookie. It’s not like he disappeared from pop culture after his SNL career, but I can definitely say I wasn’t expecting him to show up here…bleach-blond, out for murder, and sucking Cheri Oteri’s tongue. Perhaps not a revelation, but just another sublime piece of the Bizarre Pie.
2. I GOT SOUL, BUT I’M NOT A SOLDIER
Sure, we’ve seen plenty of pop stars turn to film, and to see them sing in said film(s) isn’t an entirely shocking thing, but…generally, that’s going to happen in a musical or in such a context that said singing isn’t 100% out of left field (i.e. they play a pop or Broadway star). But some 60 minutes-plus into a trippy dystopian movie, with a character that gives the audience no inkling of a song breakout (he plays a Marine and this scene is far from his first)? Where did that come from (and disappear to, as it’s the only such musical occurrence in the movie)? Naturally, I have no idea, but I enjoy it nonetheless, right on down to the bloody t-shirt and dazed look Timberlake gives at the end.
1. THE 2008 TREER SALTAIR
This is one of those rare events in film, the kind where everyone that’s sitting in the theater feels the need to turn to the person next to them, or to look around, to get any sort of confirmation to the question, “Did I really just see that? Did I really just watch a cartoon commercial where an SUV went at it doggystyle with another SUV?” A monumental WTF moment, even for this film full of them.
I watched it a few years back and, indeed, WTF is what i thought. I’m trying to think about it and I think the problem is there was no context – when you watch it, it simply doesn’t really stack up. A car shagging another car, JT singing a Killers song … WHY!!! all I ask is why and this is never answered.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 3, 2012 9:16 am
The answer is, “Because Richard Kelly is a fruit loop.”
I admire the guy’s big ambitions, but his films always turn nonsensical. Still, I enjoy the ride somehow. Strange, since Lynch turns me off – I think that’s because his carry such an air of artiness.
Twitter: nevermindpop
February 6, 2012 11:06 am
I find the critical slaying of Kelly’s films to be a fun contradiction given that Lynch can never do wrong.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 6, 2012 11:54 am
Yeah, I’d never really thought of it, but that’s certainly a strange thing. I guess that makes me just as strange, though, given the nearly-free pass I give Kelly and his weird fuckups of movies. Then again, I really haven’t seen all that much Lynch, but am mostly frustrated by what I do see. I guess Kelly is “fun insane” whereas Lynch is “pretentious insane,” and I clearly prefer the former.
Twitter: nevermindpop
February 6, 2012 5:54 pm
The difference between “pretentious insane” and “fun insane” is the difference between Hannibal Lector and The Joker.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 6, 2012 10:10 pm
Well, I don’t know if I’d call Silence of the LAMBs pretentious, but I get your drift. It’s not a bad comparison.
I love weird movies, so I really wanted to like this. But I just remember being really put off by the dialogue. Perhaps I should give it another shot. But yeah, I did dig Timberlake doing the old school musical number to the Killers song.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 3, 2012 9:17 am
The dialogue is fucking insane. It’s about everything and nothing, and characters speak in nonsensical gibberish half the time. Give it another shot some time. The wife and I are gonna make it a New Year’s Eve tradition, I think.
Twitter: Joelburman
February 5, 2012 4:20 pm
Thats insane Dylan! I’d seek help if I had an urge to revisit Southland Tales on a regular basis! =)
Twitter: Joelburman
February 5, 2012 4:21 pm
… and then I’m even a big SMG fan!!!
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 6, 2012 8:38 am
Ah, it’s all in good fun. Maybe one of these years, we’ll actually understand the entire thing (if that’s even possible).
I disliked it so much that I’ve forgotten why I disliked it so much. I finished it and then put it out of my head, hoping to never think about it again. But, I have to say, I really enjoyed the “I Got Soul” thing. It was odd but somehow seemed to work.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 3, 2012 9:18 am
Well, it’s not as if there’s a shortage of things to dislike, so I can’t blame ya there. Sorry to have put it back into your head…
Bai Ling isn’t certifiably insane, she was certifiably drunk. I’m guessing you didn’t see her story on Celebrity Rehab or you’d be nicer. She was passed around between the officers of some crazy rebel compound she grew up in. Not just the usual “poor me” daddy issues. Nonetheless, her whole career has been a WTF moment. Just dropping some reality TV knowledge on yo ass.
Twitter: manilovefilms
February 4, 2012 11:06 pm
Drunk, insane, whatever.
You’re right – I would be meaner! Anyway, yeah, that’s some pretty nasty shit, but I don’t see how that makes her performance any less nutty or misguided or misdirected.
This film is messed up, and that’s why I love it so much. I would also probably add the scene in the cop car. I remember watching it with a group of people for the first time and we weren’t sure if we should laugh or be offended.