Just so you know, I’m putting this out more as a discussion piece than a typical list. Let me explain…
There are a lot of great movies out there that I am completely content seeing one time and one time only. Typically because they are very long or deal with heavy subject matter. Maybe even just because the subject matter doesn’t interest me all that much.
Recently, however, I’ve realized that there are a handful of films that I really like but cannot get myself to rewatch them because they disturb me in some way. I take that back. Lots of Horror films disturb me and I feel compelled to watch them over and over again. I guess a better way to put it would be to say that they depress me or bum me out. So much so that I can’t even work up the nerve to throw them back into the ol’ Blu-Ray player. Mainly because I know what awaits me at the end of that emotional journey.
Below, I’ve assembled a Top 5. I wouldn’t call this the Top 5 Movies That Depress Me though. I wouldn’t because I know there are a few more that I am forgetting here. These are the five that I battle with the most often. Instead, I’ve ranked them according to how hard they bum me out and am posting this so we can all discuss this in the comments section below. So, make sure and tell us what films you love that are just too depressing for you to rewatch. Here are five of mine:
5. INDECENT PROPOSAL.
I’ll admit, this is the tamest one on the list but it strikes a chord with me. You may see a bit of theme on this list in that infidelity rubs me the wrong way. One girl cheated on me in 1997 and I am forever changed… C’est la vie!
Infidelity isn’t the issue with this film though. This isn’t a film where a spouse cheats on their partner. This is a film where a couple makes a consensual decision that one partner will stray for a single night in the “best interest” of the couple. After all, one night makes them one million dollars and their lives are forever changed. The problem I have is with the scenes where Woody Harrelson’s character realizes, too late, that they’ve made a mistake. That inner turmoil puts my stomach in knots. That moment when you realize that the cost is actually much greater than the reward.
4. ONCE WERE WARRIORS.
I can neither confirm nor deny that in my youth I was arrested and court ordered to do 52 weeks of Anger Management classes. Therefore, I cannot confirm nor deny that this film from New Zealand is so gnarly that they show it to help reform people with anger issues. I will say that it deals with tradition, broken dreams, abuse, over-indulgence, rape and death. It also stars Jango Fett. I will also say that I think everyone should see it once. Though, I have no intention of seeing it again… not that I have seen it.
3. BLUE VALENTINE.
I didn’t realize what a profound impact this film had on me until recently when it was playing on cable and my wife turned it on. I lasted about five minutes before I had to ask her to change the channel. Half of it is such a beautiful film, chronicling a blossoming young love. The deterioration of that relationship is what kills me. I think it strikes a particular nerve because it wasn’t that long ago that I was young and had a young child and was trying to keep a marriage on the right track. There’s a time for all when it can go either way. Luckily for me, it turned out great but it kills me to think of what could have been and that is reflected in this film. Similarly, and strangely, I get similar feelings from films like (500) Days of Summer yet I can watch that one over and over again.
2. IRREVERSIBLE.
This film seems like an obvious choice because it is just brutal. It features some intense violence and an unflinching (what feels like) nine minute rape scene. Oddly, the ending is actually quite beautiful. However, the problem here isn’t the rape or the violence. Those are prevalent in many films. The problem is that the director makes you feel every second of it. Using music, sound effects and camera techniques to shoot the emotions into your veins and leave you feeling the pain throughout the entire film.
1. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM.
I think most of you will feel me on this one. Requiem is a damn good movie from a great filmmaker but it should really just be called Total Bummer. It’s hard to watch the effects drugs can have on people. Tearing their lives completely apart as they devolve into madness. In this case, the madness is a bit over the top but it doesn’t feel that way. In fact, it feels all too real. For me, the even harder part is watching the destruction it has on relationships. Be it mother and son, boyfriend and girlfriend or even best friends. The toll that drugs can take is immense and has never felt more so than in this crazy little gem.
So, what films do you find too depressing for a rewatch?
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Remember, we here at Man, I Love Films don’t do definitive lists. We do our favorites and we want to hear yours. So, make sure and tell us about them in the comments section below.
Wayne (6)
Mette (4)
Nic Cage (4)
Sebastian (4)
steve (4)
John (3)
Nick (3)
Chip Lary (2)
Dan (2)
Oh, Once Were Warriors. First film that err truly disturbed and depressed me. I would never watch it again even if you paid me. As for Blue Valentine, I LOVE that film, and I’ve had the DVD sitting on my bedside table for the past six months, but I can’t bring myself to see it again. And Requiem for a Dream…I was forced to see that again because my friend wanted to watch it. It was even more depressing the second time!
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 6:48 am
You are the only person I know that has ever seen this movie, Stevee.
Come to NZ, we’ve all seen it here
Leaving Las Vegas. Can’t drink for a week after viewing it
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 6:49 am
Truly a bummer movie as well. I have never had an issue rewatching it though.
It’s strange what sticks with different people.
Great list. I’d also include Synecdoche, New York.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 6:58 am
I have yet to see that one still. Is it a depressing film? I’ve heard boring but not depressing.
Twitter: twitter.com/kloipy
April 30, 2012 6:22 am
Good list Kai. I didn’t watch Blue Valentine for that reason. I think one of the things people never grasp or talk about is the strain on a marriage that a young child can bring. I mean it’s amazing being a parent but those first years are very hard. You always just have to take the time to make a point to be together as a couple and not just ‘mommy and daddy’.
Good article and again nice choices. If I had to pick one I don’t think I could do again would be ‘Dancer in the Dark’. Probably the only Trier movie I actually thought was good start to finish, but man the last 10 minutes of that movie are so extremely brutal. I can just hear her counting down the steps to the room and then what happens when she’s in there (with that last song) ugh. That movie really hurt
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 7:05 am
Great point on the couple/ parent thing.
I’ve never seen Dancer in the Dark. I’m curious, have you ever seen Dogville? That is another bummer film of his that I thought was very good.
Twitter: twitter.com/kloipy
April 30, 2012 8:06 am
I have seen Dogville, I didn’t like it. Von Trier tries too hard for my tastes
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:29 pm
Oh, I’m a big fan but I don’t like von Trier all that much.
Twitter: Limette9
April 30, 2012 6:29 am
I guess Melancholia is one of the films I won’t re-watch… or maybe just one time, not more.
I was surprised to see Indecent Proposal in your list… a film I don’t read or hear much about. An underrated one, certainly. But not really depressing to me.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 6:47 am
Well, I could’ve just as easily put a film like Straw Dogs on here. I realize that Indecent Proposal is the oddball of the films listed above but that’s exactly why I wanted to include it.
If this had been a Top 5, it wouldn’t have made the list. Since I ranked them according to bum factor, it’s clearly the low man in this group.
Not nearly as depressing as the other four but I still find myself avoiding rewatching it.
Twitter: ptsnob
April 30, 2012 7:49 am
Once Were Warriors is a great pick. I actually did a paper about it in college for a Folklore class, so I ended up watching it several times. It’s not an easy film to take, that’s for sure.
I’ll echo the other comments about Dancer in the Dark and Leaving Las Vegas. Schindler’s List is another one that I haven’t revisited. You’re right on with Requiem for a Dream too. Fantastic movie, but I’ve only seen it once.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:33 pm
Schindler’s List is a bummer but I have rewatched it… like three times so I couldn’t necessarily include it here. Though, I could see how some people might.
I generally don’t have a problem rewatching depressing films, but the one for me that I will never rewatch is They Shoot Horses, Don’t They (1969). That movie was so depressing and has such a bleak worldview that I wanted to kill myself by the end of it. Almost literally, the closest to suicidal I’ve ever been.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:34 pm
I have seen that movie on depressing film lists for years. Never seen it though. Not exactly a selling point.
Great choices! Irreversible is impossible to go through again.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:35 pm
It is rough. Such a sweet ending though!
Twitter: agracru
April 30, 2012 9:07 am
Every single film I can think of off-hand to fit onto this list is already here. Basically, I’ve got nothing, so hats off on a really tight list, Kai.
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:36 pm
Thank you, sir. That is a response I never get!
One for me has got to be THE GREEN MILE. No thanks, I prefer not to cry again like a baby…
Twitter: kaiderman
April 30, 2012 3:36 pm
I could see a lot of people picking that too. I’ve seen it a few times though. It’s just so damn good. Darabont should just adapt every Stephen King novel.
I’ve just spent three days watching Shoah, and I will gladly never repeat that experience. I was going to split it over four days, but by the third day I’d decided no, I’m finishing it now. The thought of spending a fourth day on it was too much.
Otherwise, the only two “great” films I can think of that I never want to see again are Requiem for a Dream and United 93. I don’t particularly want to see Irreversible again, but that’s because I thought it was rubbish.
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:50 am
I could imagine a French Holocaust documentary being pretty rough.
United 93 is another great choice for this topic. It’s almost easier to deal with when gaps aren’t filled in.
Man, if Requiem for a Dream wasn’t the #1 entry, this would’ve been a bum list. It didn’t get me depressed. It just emotionally overwhelmed me. (Translation: I cried. A lot.)
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:51 am
Yeah, it’s just pretty emotionally exhausting.
Twitter: pturner1010
May 1, 2012 9:21 am
Perfect! Haven’t seen Indecent Proposal but the other 4 are spot on. Dancer in the Dark is a bloody good call too. Also Arlington Road had a kicker ending.
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:52 am
Apparently I’m the only one who hasn’t seen Dancer in the Dark. lol
ugh, the road….cannibalism is pretty depressing!
although sometimes you are just in a depressed mood and want to fuel that feeling…i once did the pianist and sophie’s choice back to back…
or is that just a chick thing?!
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:53 am
Careful saying “chick” around here… the femenists may be listening!
Everyone does that to a certain extent, I think.
And you are such a sissy. The Road is pretty tame. I still want you to read the book because it’s actually sooooooooo good.
I had to laugh when I saw the title of the article, and the teaser pic for Requiem, because it’s so completely true.
I’d throw Happiness into the mix. Good lord, what a bummer that movie is. I don’t even mind depressing movies in general (hell, most of my favorite movies are soul-crushers), but Happiness and Requiem dig into highly uncomfortable territory.
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:55 am
Happiness is a GREAT addition. That movie is fucked up. We (me and the wifey) tried to watch because we are big fans of Welcome to the Dollhouse. My wife called it quits pretty quick. I’ll go back at some point but haven’t got around to it though. Great choice!
Twitter: kaiderman
May 3, 2012 8:56 am
Ooh, I just thought of another one: Havoc. Anybody with me on that one?
Twitter: GoSeeTalk
May 3, 2012 1:50 pm
Irreversible is a good call at #2 and Requiem in the number 1 spot is pretty much a given coming from you Kai.
But Million Dollar Baby and Mosquito Coast also come to mind…and I’ve yet to see Happiness and Salo just because of how deflating people make them out to be.
Downfall, the movie that makes you feel sorry for Hitler. My roommate and I just sort of collapsed after that one.