Heather and I have been doing lists together for years. Unfortunately, it’s been a long time since we’ve done one. Too long if you ask me. So, when Heather came up with this great idea, I had to steal… er… get in on it.
Heather’s idea was inspired by the recent smash hit film The Avengers. Essentially, we took a look at all the movies out there and picked the characters we thought would make great additions to the all-star superhero squad. Characters from Comic Book movies were not off limits with the exception of those from the Marvel & DC Universes. Here’s what we came up with…
KAI’S TOP 5:
5. DAVID DUNN. (UNBREAKABLE).
POWERS: Increased strength. Possible invulnerability (save for water).
David Dunn is probably my favorite pick on this list. The only reason he comes in so low is because the extent of his powers are a bit questionable. We all know he was able to survive a train crash without sustaining so much as a scratch. Therefore, it’s safe to say he could probably take a beating from the likes of Hulk and be all right. The question is, could he fight back. In Unbreakable, it’s shown that Dunn does have super strength as he lifts nearly a quarter ton of weight with little effort. However, at the end of the film, he also struggles taking down one guy who commits a home invasion. So, while he could take a punch from the Hulk, it’s questionable if he could give one back. Still, while he may not be a team leader, he would certainly be a team asset.
4. HIT GIRL (KICK ASS).
POWERS: Weapons specialist. Trained in hand-to-hand combat.
One of Hit Girl’s greatest skills, that is easily forgotten amongst the rest of them, is her ability to go incognito and infiltrate sticky situations. I mean, nobody sees a pre-teen girl as much of a threat. That lack of caution is deadly in this situation. Not only can Hit Girl whip up on dudes twice her size but she’s knowledgeable and deadly with everything from throwing stars and a katana blade to a fully automatic sub-machine gun. The fact that she has a history of crime fighting and working with partners is a bonus too. Not to mention that she has a filthy little mouth and a badass attitude that command immediate respect from the likes of people like Tony Stark.
3. RIVER (SERENITY).
POWERS: Skilled assassin.
My answer to Black Widow. She’s the human equivalent to the Ak-47. You know like. “when you absolutely have to kill every mutha fucka in the room!” River certainly suffers from emotional issues. I know I would if a government agency hacked my brain and turned me into a killing machine. Though, she’s loyal to a fault and fights on the side of good. If you think sending Black Widow into a room for information is a solid plan then sending in River is Adamantium!
2. CARRIE (CARRIE).
POWERS: Powerful telekinetic.
The depths of her powers as a telekinetic are unmeasured. Sure, she can fuck shit up at a prom full of bully teenagers but can she crumble a building down on a 10 story intergalactic being hell bent on consuming our galaxy? Nobody knows for sure. What we do know, from other mutants like Jean Grey and (the man) Professor X, is that telekinetics are invaluable in the fight against evil and are often some of the most powerful superheroes in the world. Carrie is no doubt a must have for any superhero team.
1. NEO (THE MATRIX).
POWERS: Ability to fly. Moves faster than normal people and superheroes. He knows Kung Fu.
The extent of his powers in his “real” world are great but within the world we operate in they are unmatched. Neo moves at bullet time which means he could have Iron Man in a choke hold before the repulsor blast left his chest. He is also well versed in every form of martial arts and packs a hell of a right hook. Not to mention the fact that he can fly which is important as many of these other worldly foes like to take to the skies for a good ol’ fashion scuffle. Ultimately, Neo is the poster boy for my team of Avenger-should-bes.
HEATHER’S TOP 5:
5. RIDDICK (CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND PITCH BLACK)
POWERS: Night vision super senses.
Riddick may not be what one would call your typical hero which as far as some of our Avengers go may make him fit in even more. With no real superpowers to speak of other than a surgically altered night vision advantage he is human and deadly. Though a vicious and a menacing killer, Vin Diesal makes Riddick the most charismatic and likable character in each of the films he’s in. In “Riddick”, his sarcasm and indifference to everything played perfectly against the enemies alien and human alike. He’d make an lethal addition to the misfit band of Avengers.
4. NAMELESS (HERO)
POWERS: Ninja skills, and deceptive
Nameless is a fearless warrior who has killed all three assassins and brought their swords to the Emperor. He is human yet his skills seem supernatural sending him almost floating across the sky, with abilities to jump enormous distances, and even fight off an entire armies archers that’s arrows darkened the day lit sky. The grace and elegance of the martial arts he maintains is an elegance and discipline much need in my band of tough guys and girls.
3. SARAH CONNOR (TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY)
POWERS: Buff, cunning, and a pissed off Mama
Sometimes resourcefulness, intellect, planning, and resolve are more important than brute strength or fighting abilities. If you put a weapon of any kind in Sarah Connor’s hand that woman is not only going to wield it more dangerously than a trained killer, but she is backed by the motivation of saving her son and the future for mankind. She’s one woman I wouldn’t piss off. I’d only consider replacing her with Ripley or The Bride.
2. RIVER (SERENITY)
POWERS: Some skills still unknown, Vicious killer, telepathic-or something
Obviously River is one hell of a contender if Kai and I both picked her. While she is genetically and otherwise altered but she is still mortal and a frightening weapon that still isn’t quite easily controlled by anyone other than her brother, but as shown at the end of Serenity, this young angelic faced girl is anything but pure. Dangerous and deadly, River is a player I’d want on my team.
1. ARAGORN (LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY)
POWERS: Long life and master of decapitation
In order to have a team of super mortals who better to lead them than a sword wielding reluctant king. Aside from Aragorn’s fighting skills and my fondness of his abilities in regards to decapitation he has a resounding knack for doing the right things, resisting temptation-be it evil or a hot blonde chick, he also managed to lead a group of bickering bad asses doomed from the moment their mission began. But not once did his heart falter. He is the natural fifth member to my party.