Everything Else, Lists, Top 10s — August 3, 2012 at 9:00 am

SIR PHOBOS’ TOP 10 SCENES OF PEOPLE GETTING EATEN ALIVE

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Hey, I like watching people getting eaten alive. What can I say? Now, I have a pretty heavy restriction in place for this list: no zombies. To me, that’s just too easy. There are a bajillion zombies eating a bajillion people in thousands of movies, so I decided to just throw them out automatically. I don’t think you’ll mind, though, because there are still plenty of people meeting their collective demise with expressions of sheer terror and/or regret. Fun for the whole family.

 

10) Franklin’s (Samuel L. Jackson) death in Deep Blue Sea

This is the most hilarious one on the list, and it’s only #10 because it’s over so quickly. Bonus points for the shark cutting Jackson off mid-speech, but when compared to the more drawn-out deaths I’m going to show you, I think this one barely makes the cut. Shark Attack 3 is also ridiculous.

 

9) That one dude’s death in Creepshow – The Crate

Apologies, but it’s been too long since I’ve watched this one, so I don’t remember the character getting eaten alive. But, in any case, we can all bask in the pinkish red glow of death that is visited upon him here. I’m undecided if I still think the creature looks totally awesome or totally retarded. I think it’s a combination of both.

 

8) Beni’s (Kevin J. O’Connor) death in The Mummy

Beni had this coming, so I don’t feel so bad that he not only realized he was trapped in the treasure room forever, but that there was also a giant swarm of flesh-eating scarabs making their way towards him as his torch died. The moral here is that you shouldn’t be a bastard, or you’ll get eaten alive.

 

7) Lumpy’s (Andy Serkis) death in King Kong

Being slowly digested by a giant worm is one of my few phobias in life. I don’t actually think that could ever possibly happen, but WHAT IF IT DID!?!?!? Oh, my god, the horror. Well, Andy Serkis’ character certainly found out the horror in this clip. I’d rather saw my own head off than have this happen to me.

 

6) Billy’s (Clint Curtis) death in Deep Rising

True, this clip doesn’t show the actual eating, but it depicts exactly why being devoured by a worm terrifies me so. It’s over-the-top, but I do not want to be that man. MY EYES! MY FACE! MY EYES AND MY FACE! BLARGGGHHH AHHHHHHH!

 

5) Belch’s (Drum Garrett) death in Stephen King’s It

If anyone deserves to get eaten alive, it’s a teenager who does nothing but burp in people’s faces. Oh, yea; he was also going to kill someone until Pennywise interrupted the party. You might question this pick, since no one actually gets eaten alive. But Belch gets broken in half and slowly pulled into a worm-like structure, right? So, in essence, his death fits right in with the rest of my picks. You just have to look at it a little differently. Also, it’s my list, so suck it.

 

4) Nicolai’s (Karel Roden) death in The Abandoned

I originally wanted Mason Verger’s death to take this spot, but Youtube blocked my video due to bullshit copyright crap, so this is the next best thing. It all evens out in the end, because you’re still getting a quality death by pigs. Granted, it doesn’t show the part where Nicolai actually gets eaten alive, but the death and aftermath are quite obvious. Yes, a pig is eating his crotch. I hope you had a good breakfast.

 

3) Paul Serone’s (Jon Voight) death in Anaconda

Well, Paul Serone got what was coming to him. So sorry. Bonus points for the shot from inside the snake before he gets devoured. I also totally forgot about Voight’s Judge Dredd face and awesome Cajun accent.

 

2) Gennaro’s (Martin Ferrero) death in Jurassic Park

One of the things that makes this death more terrifying than the rest is that it it’s at the hands of a Tyrannosaurus. Also, the lawyer is sitting on a toilet right before he gets bitten in two, so his life pretty much sucked and then it was over when a dinosaur ate him. The moral lesson here is that you should never be a lawyer.

 

1) Quint’s (Robert Shaw) death in Jaws

If this isn’t the most horrific thing you’ve ever seen, you and I should take a boat trip. We’ll figure something out. Long live Robert Shaw!

 

Remember, we here at Man, I Love Films don’t do definitive lists. We do our favorites and we want to hear yours. So, make sure and tell us about them in the comments section below.

27 Comments

  • Where the heck is Troll 2? “They’re eating her! And then they’re gonna eat me! OH MY GOOODDDDDDD!”

    • Yes, that scene is also retardedly awesome. I think if enough people mention some good ones not on the list, I’ll make a readers’ comments addition or something.

  • I see the same scene from Jaws twice on this list. I don’t care how fake looking that shark is. It still freaks me out to this day. I can handle people being torurted in movies but being eaten whole by something really scares me

    • Thanks, I fixed that video error and a spectacular typo.

      I dunno, man. That shark doesn’t look fake at all to me. The wide shot looks a little weird when it jumps on the boat, but holy crap at how terrifying it is once it’s on the boat. One of my favorite movies ever. I’m with you; I also don’t want to be eaten whole and slowly digested by a creature.

  • Mouth of Sarlacc! Mouth of Sarlacc! Gotta go with the humongous display of vagina dentata. After that, I might suggest the scene in 8 Legged Freaks where the spider queen…eats that one teenager alive. By dissolving his innards so she can drink him. Yum!

    • Yea, Sarlacc is sweet, too. I just didn’t want Star Wars on here for no real reason. I’ve only seen 8 Legged Freaks once, but I really enjoyed it. I can’t remember the scene you’re talking about, though. It sounds bad ass.

  • I also gotta mention the Tremors series. And hey… the third film may suck balls, but it has Burt being eaten whole… and he STILL survives. That’s pretty awesome.

    (There’s also Pinocchio, as well, for survival of being eaten alive.)

  • Oh oh oh… and Little Shop of Horrors! Mr. Mushnik!

  • I still haven’t seen Deep Blue Sea but I must have seen that clip about twenty times already.

  • I laughed pretty hard at that headline.

  • Nice Sir Phobos :D But I think you have omitted the best of them all!!! Hannibal’s brain scene in which Anthony Hopkins cuts a little chunk from Ray Liotta’s head, cooks it and then feeds it back to him :D

    • You’re the second person to mention that to me. Here’s my rationale: Liotta had no idea what was going on, and he wasn’t scared or in pain. Gary Oldman, however…

  • Great stuff. Of course, Jaws had to be number one!

    I do love that moment in Deep Blue Sea though – so unexpected!

    • Yep. I just don’t know how anyone could look at that Jaws scene and not think it’s the craziest thing they’ve ever seen.

      • Hallo Kathy!I’ve emailed you about the loaitcons you can find all my books.Looks like I need to rearrange my menus a bit to help people find things!

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