Lists, Top 10 Movies, Top 10s — September 26, 2012 at 2:29 am

HEATHER’S TOP TEN MAKESHIFT MOVIE WEAPONS

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Last week it was all about guns, but this week we’re going to focus on weapons that wouldn’t normally be a weapon in a film.  They don’t have to exude a kill moment, just torture, survival, or whatever are acceptable perimeters in this scenario.  The point is they aren’t items that would usually be used to save the day or do someone bodily harm.  It’s using creative genius to really get your point across.  You have movies like Home Alone and Bond movies that really exude great moments throughout, but these flicks impressed me as well.  Please feel free to add your thoughts.

10.  OXYGEN TANK IN SHARKS MOUTH

JAWS

They didn’t have a bigger boat so they had to get creative on how to kill this man eating great white.  Mythbuster’s may have debunked the possibility of this explosion but it doesn’t make the ending any less terrifying, suspenseful, or entertaining.

9.  HEAD IN VICE

CASINO

Thought about going for a Goodfellas moment with Tommy DeVito here, but Pesci’s sadistic character in Casino even challenged Tommy with his malicious diabolical ways of torturing people.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t looked at a vice the same since.

8. BUCKET OF WATER

THE WIZARD OF OZ

Not perhaps utterly violent, but death by melting from a bucket of water certainly took some ingenuity.  Also, makes me wonder how bad that witch smelled.

7.  JACKHAMMER

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Here’s where most people would note a chainsaw, and here’s where I won’t.  Clooney’s legendary kill with this Jackhammer has a special place in my memory and heart.  Brutal.

6. THIGHS

GOLDENEYE

Yeah.  If I had to choose my death………well Miss Onotopp, I’ll be calling you.

5. FRYING PAN

KILL BILL

Kill Bill is notorious for several ways of death, destruction, and mayhem, but when The Bride fends of Vernita Green with a frying pan, it’s clear shit has gotten very real.  KA BOOM.

4. LOADER

ALIENS

I don’t make Ripley, Aliens, and things by James Cameron #1 on all of my lists, but there is a legitimate reason why so many of his films do end up in my top tens.  Creativity, originality, with a hell of a storyline to back his business up is why shit is here and real.

3.  CARROT

SHOOT ‘EM UP

This movie is ridiculous, but a carrot through his mouth as death and a weapon.  Nuff said.

2. MAGAZINE

BOURNE

The pen weapon is actually my favorite, but there are too many moments in movies where it seems pens are used to stab, murder, kill, or impale.  I’m sticking with the badassness of making a magazine whoop somebody.

1. TEACUP

THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK

Pitch Black is easily one of my favorite Science Fiction films and I always champion the character Riddick whom is a constant reminder to me that Vin Diesel could have an incredible career as an action star.  This scene with the teacup in Riddick, shows exactly how bad ass he is, and how innovative the fight scenes actually are.  It’s disgusting, in the best way possible.

Remember, we here at Man, I Love Films don’t do definitive lists. We do our favorites and we want to hear yours. So, make sure and tell us about them in the comments section below.

10 Comments

  • This list really needs a pen, either the one you mention in The Bourne Identity or Grosse Pointe Blank. Don’t forget the Cricket bat and vinyl record in Shaun of the Dead. And I seem to remember someone getting stabbed in the throat with a pair of glasses in Godfather part 3.

  • I noted in my Bourne pick that I left pens out because there are so many used in movies, while awesome are too many, along with my pick of the jackhammer instead of chainsaw useage. The Cricket Bat was hard to pass, and the Shoe from Austin Powers, I didn’t mention Godfather Part 3 because I like to pretend that movie never happened. Thanks Andy. XXOO

  • Wow, I gotta check out Shoot ‘em Up.

  • Toothbrush! Oldboy!

    Also: the pig Wikus launches into a mercenary in District 9‘s finale.

    • Oldboy is fantastic, it slipped in basic brainstorming, and then Iost it. I also forgot the 2 X 4 in Walking Tall. Excellent picks Andrew.

  • The whole time I was reading, I was like “Teacup. Teacup. Teacup. The teacup better be at the top of this list.” And sure enough! So I heartily approve this list. I love Pitch Black much more, but the teacup scene in Chronicles was fantastic. Also, what really makes that scene shine is when he puts the pin on the rock right after it.

  • I was waiting for the carrot to show up. I tried describing that to someone after I watched Shoot ‘Em Up and they didn’t get it.

  • How about the pencil in the Dark Knight or the quarter from X-men First Class.

    My favorite old school tv show weapon would be a fence post pulled out of the ground with the cement by the Six Million Dollar Man. That made quite the javelin.

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