TRAILER TITILLATION: BATTLESHIP

Hollywood has gotten so creatively bankrupt lately that it will adapt anything in order to lure in the masses. Battleship is a good example of this. Most of us grew up playing the game and uttering the line “you sunk my Battleship!” in an ironic way because that’s what the commercial told you to do. Now it’s time for the game to come to the big-screen, much to the delight of…the studio who greenlit it I guess. The official trailer debuted today on Yahoo! Movies but you can check it out below:

Here’s the official synopsis:

Peter Berg (Hancock) produces and directs Battleship, an epic action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane. 

ALIENS! EXPLOSIONS! FIRE! TAYLOR KITSCH! That’s what I got out of the Battleship trailer. It’s engineered to appeal to the people who loved Battle: Los Angeles and the Transformers series, which is smart marketing but it makes me nervous on the quality of this. But there’s one moment that gives me a little faith: the aliens weaponry resembles the pegs you’d stick into your battleship if the other player hit you. Yes it’s kind of lame, but it also gives a sliver of hope that Peter Berg knows how ridiculous this premise is and is going to go balls out to make it worthwhile. But that’s the best case scenario; the worst case being this is just another loud, expensive, empty shell of a movie that’ll lure mainstream audiences and infuriate anyone who wants something more out of their movegoing experience.

Battleship hits theaters May 18, 2012. For more information on the movie, visit the official site.