Have you seen this man anywhere? If you have, I’m sure he was probably eating something snooty and at the very least, dark and dreary. Well he is single-handedly taking memories aplenty from all of our childhoods and taking a proverbial shit on them.
In the last ten years he has already ruined classics like Planet of the Apes (his remake was universally panned and left everyone in the theater saying “Whaaaaaat?”), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, (while not as hated as Apes, don’t even think about saying that Depp and his Michael Jackson impression rival Gene Wilder’s Wonka), and Alice In Wonderland (huge box office numbers but I have yet to talk to someone who doesn’t also enjoy raves that enjoyed it) and now he has his goofy glasses-sight on another Disney remake: Pinocchio.
According to “The Hollywood Reporter,” Burton is in talks to make a live action version of the puppet-centered classic. What might be more shocking about this development is that at this point there are no mentions of one Johnny Depp for a role yet. But I would bet good money that the news of Depp in the role of Jiminy Cricket is right around the corner. Or Geppetto!… Actually…
The same report says that none other than Robert Downey, Jr. is interested in taking on the role of the old puppet-maker… I emphasize the word “old” because, well, Geppetto is old! You’re telling me that there are no elderly actors that couldn’t play that role better than the money-making machine that is RDJ? In the 1996 live action version, Martin Landau took on the role and did, ya know, what he could with it. What about Michael Caine? He was (in this humble writer’s opinion) the best Ebenezer Scrooge (in A Muppet Christmas Carol) and continues to be a force in everything that he does. This would give me a larger desire to break with tradition and NOT avoid a Tim Burton movie at all costs.
What about you? Are you filled with disinterest like I am about this news? Are you excited to see Geppetto have a flashback to a moment when his father wasn’t nice to him and that’s why he spent his life as a woodcarver? Is good ol’ Tony Stark the right choice for the film? And what of the role of Pinocchio? Anybody else think that this kid would be perfect (I mean, if this film HAS to get made)?
Sound off below!
Wayne (7)
Josh (5)
Andrew (4)
John (4)
Justin (4)
Steve (4)
Lauren (3)
Nick (3)
Andy (2)
Dave Enkosky (2)
Dude, take a look around the remake world and I think you will find far more dreary remakes ‘in the works’ than this Burton project. Like The Three stooges or how about the recent crap retread of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo!
At least Burton puts his unique and indelible stamp on the stories he visits!
Twitter: callmesirphobos
January 9, 2012 7:38 pm
I have a hard time hearing out anti-Burton people. Maybe they forget his body of work, I don’t know. But this is the guy that did Beetlejuice, Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Sleepy Hollow, Mars Attacks!, Sweeney Todd…etc…
Yea, he likes working with a small circle of actors, but, for the most part, they’ve done an amazing things.
As far as Pinocchio goes, I really don’t care. The story was never one that resonated with me to the degree where I get pissed at a re-imagining or whatever. If Downey works, he works. I would question that casting, but still.
I’ll probably pass on this one, though, unless a trailer really excites me.
I still have to see Alice in Wonderland and Corpse Bride. I didn’t hear terribly great things about Alice.
Twitter: agracru
January 11, 2012 9:17 am
Burton’s 2000s body of work has been awful, and I frankly think most people tend to over-estimate the value of the stuff he churned out in the mid to late 90s. That aside, he hasn’t made anything really good in over a decade. I think that’s where most anti-Burton people are drawing their frustration from.
Twitter: callmesirphobos
January 9, 2012 7:38 pm
Oh, and that kid…does he have some kind of growth problem? IMDB says he’s 13, but he looks like he’s 8 or something.
Coming from a Burton fan, what’s most disappointing to me is that he’s spending his time remaking films that don’t need to be remade. I love the creativity and ingenuity of his earlier films.
The guy who me took me to Sleepy Hallow and Halloweentown, shouldn’t be taking me on a tour of Disneyland with Burton vision. He should be taking me to Burtonland instead.
I used to love Tim Burton’s films right up till Mars Attack! which didn’t work for me though it was intended to be this cheesy film. Sleepy Hollow was pretty good but then came that remake of Planet of the Apes which is truly one of the worst things ever made.
Though Big Fish was an improvement over that film, I was put off by the sentimentality and then something got lost for me. It seems like he’s become too comfortable using CGI for his visuals and not enough work on actually having sets made and go old-school with visual effects. After hearing this. This is someone who I think should now retire.
@Ric – I’m not arguing with you on Three Stooges that’s for sure. It looks like pure crap… And as for his “indelible stamp” that’s kinda the point I guess of the post… I’m pretty done with his particular stamp
@Phobos – What I think is funny is how your list of “great Burton flicks” contains only one made in the 2000s (which was Sweeney Todd … and personally all I can say about that one is “Meh”). I feel like when you make similar movies over and over, people get tired of them… and Burton is starting to lose it a bit… even with his most loving followers.
@Emily – I agree. That’s why I enjoyed Big Fish as much as I did… it was a different type of movie but it had the right amount of Burton charm in it too make it successful.
@Steven – I think we are on the same train of thought!
Twitter: agracru
January 11, 2012 9:22 am
I don’t really understand the reaction to this project. Burton’s been terrible since the century turned; that he’s going to continue being terrible shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Of course, he could shock us all by making something good out of this, but I’m not going to hold my breath as his track record has been poor of late.
For me, this is actually kinda good news. Ripping on bad Burton movies is a joy and an art form unto itself. Not only is the very act of writing negative criticism of Burton’s latest films pleasing in and of itself, it’s also a blast to draw the ire of Burton fanatics.
Although Charlie and the chocolate factory was a total travesty I actually think Tim Burton was a good fit for the overall tone of the film. It was meant to be more on the dark side I think. So with that in mind, although I’m sick of seeing classics remade, Burton might be a good fit for Pinocchio. Have you seen it lately? Totally not a children’s movie. If it had been made today there are several scenes that I don’t think would have been included….i.e. children drinking and smoking cigars.
Twitter: fandangogroover
January 12, 2012 3:37 pm
Cut him some slack, he may have made some crap in the past decade but we are talking about the man who gave us the first decent Batman movie.