Have you seen this man anywhere? If you have, I’m sure he was probably eating something snooty and at the very least, dark and dreary. Well he is single-handedly taking memories aplenty from all of our childhoods and taking a proverbial shit on them.
In the last ten years he has already ruined classics like Planet of the Apes (his remake was universally panned and left everyone in the theater saying “Whaaaaaat?”), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, (while not as hated as Apes, don’t even think about saying that Depp and his Michael Jackson impression rival Gene Wilder’s Wonka), and Alice In Wonderland (huge box office numbers but I have yet to talk to someone who doesn’t also enjoy raves that enjoyed it) and now he has his goofy glasses-sight on another Disney remake: Pinocchio.
According to “The Hollywood Reporter,” Burton is in talks to make a live action version of the puppet-centered classic. What might be more shocking about this development is that at this point there are no mentions of one Johnny Depp for a role yet. But I would bet good money that the news of Depp in the role of Jiminy Cricket is right around the corner. Or Geppetto!… Actually…
The same report says that none other than Robert Downey, Jr. is interested in taking on the role of the old puppet-maker… I emphasize the word “old” because, well, Geppetto is old! You’re telling me that there are no elderly actors that couldn’t play that role better than the money-making machine that is RDJ? In the 1996 live action version, Martin Landau took on the role and did, ya know, what he could with it. What about Michael Caine? He was (in this humble writer’s opinion) the best Ebenezer Scrooge (in A Muppet Christmas Carol) and continues to be a force in everything that he does. This would give me a larger desire to break with tradition and NOT avoid a Tim Burton movie at all costs.
What about you? Are you filled with disinterest like I am about this news? Are you excited to see Geppetto have a flashback to a moment when his father wasn’t nice to him and that’s why he spent his life as a woodcarver? Is good ol’ Tony Stark the right choice for the film? And what of the role of Pinocchio? Anybody else think that this kid would be perfect (I mean, if this film HAS to get made)?
Sound off below!