Hatchet 2: Even Hatchetter is a movie boiled in controversy. It was released in theaters but you probably don’t remember that because it was only released for one whole day before theaters pulled it because it’s a god damn horror movie. But they’ll have 20 fucking showings of “Chipwrecked”. But I digress.

Hatchet 2: Electric Hatchet picks up right where Hatchet  left off, with the quiet chick, named Mary Beth, all alone in the water. This time Mary Beth is played by Danielle Harris. Mary Beth is picked up by a fisherman with only one eye.

One Eyed Willy takes her back to his place and then freaks the fuck out when he finds out who her dad is. The explaination of this is her dad was one of the three kids who killed Victor Crowley so long ago. This is explained by Reverend Zombie, played by Tony Todd.

Tony Todd has a bigger role in this film. He tells Mary Beth the long story about how Victor Crowley was concieved. I guess he was there? I dunno. Anyway, the reason Victor Crowley was so deformed is because his mom put a curse on his dad and the dad’s mistress before the mom died. Then the three kids came around, burnt the house down, and Victor died.

Anyway, Mary Beth wants to go back to Victor’s and retrieve the bodies of her father and brother. Reverend Zombie wants to go to rid the swamp of Victor and the only way that’ll happen is if Victor gets HIS revenge by killing all the kids who burnt, then killed, him.

The two other people besides Mary Beth’s dad was her Uncle Bob and this guy named Trent. Trent looks like he should be hosting a show on Discovery about a redneck tow trucking company, like Iguana Kiss Towing or some shit.

Rev. Zombie gathers some more random people, including this funny guy named Vernon, and they head off to the swamp. For whatever reason, they name drop Leslie Vernon. I thought that was kinda cool. OH! And they mention Jason Voorhees, which is ultra-cool cause of the whole Kane Hodder thing.

Anyway, there’s a huge long set up for a sequel and it’s not until the 35 minute mark do people start dying. There are some pretty interesting deaths. The fisherman guy got his intestines pulled out. Vernon and this other guy got killed by the biggest fucking chainsaw I’ve ever seen. And my favorite death had to be the guy who was fucking a girl, got cut in half, and this caused him to give her an orgasm. Then Victor kills the girls by putting an ax in her ax wound, if you know what I’m saying.

And I think you do.

Anyway, Reverend Zombie eventually traps Bob and Trent into Victor’s burnt down house, Victor goes to town on them, and Zombie thinks the curse is over. But Mary Beth drops a truth on him: Bob isn’t her real uncle! LE GASP!!

I can’t even describe how Victor kills Zombie. It’s so awesome. And gory. Just…watch it. I will say it is a bit slow, but stick with it. And the final 2 minutes is just awesome. I think I kinda understand this whole women’s lib thing.

Like I said, it’s a bit slow but it’s worth it. It’s a decent sequel and I do like sequels that pick up right where the original left off. The addition of Danielle Harris was awesome, despite her accent coming and going. And having Tony Todd be in it more was really good. I say why not? Give it a whirl!

♥♥♥♥

-Jason