Everything Else, TGITDNMAR — December 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

TGITDNMAR (12/21/12)


It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.

This Is 40
I feel like it’s become pretty trend to bag on Judd Apatow and pretty much anything he touched in the mid-2000s.  You know, the whole “it’s too popular so let’s all collectively decide to be sick of it and retroactively think it’s terrible” syndrome (which is currently being pasted to Chris Nolan, because morons love to tell themselves that National Treasure is actually better than Inception because “Inception thinks its intellectual” or something.  Ok, fine, whatever.

Anyway, all that is a long way of saying that I still like Knocked Up.  It’s perhaps not as good as The 40 Year-Old Virgin, and sure, all of Apatow’s directorial efforts are too long, but I’m not gonna pretend that I wouldn’t watch it right now if it were on a TV in front of me.  The thing is, though, Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann didn’t just steal the show from Seth Rogen and Kat Heigl – we outright wished right then and there that they were the stars.  So, this quasi-sequel/spinoff not only doesn’t feel like a cash grab (particularly since I don’t expect it to make a fortune), but feels completely natural.  So count me in, despite the comparatively-worse reception and overall feeling of nepotism gone wrong.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 68%

Zero Dark Thirty
Although I never looked up what the title actually meant until just now, as it turns out I was correct (it means half past midnight, basically).  Doesn’t mean I can’t still expect to hear the sounds of Aaron Rodgers screaming, “Forty-two!!  Green!  Kill kill kill!!  Hut!” every time I read the title.

In other news, I still haven’t decided if I thinkZDT is a good or terrible movie title (though we really do need to start calling it “ZDT” more often).

So…outside of the general premise, I really have no idea how this thing is supposed to unfold.  All I know is that a) it’s supposed to be really freaking good, b) it’s got a fantastic cast of not-quite stars (WTF?  Mark Duplass is even in this?; also, “Yay!,” Chris Pratt’s in it), and c) obviously, neither the film nor Kathryn Bigelow would be getting near the attention it’s getting if it were directed by a man.  Or something like that.

You know, I never did get around to watching United 93 (and you don’t need to tell me I’m an idiot for that).  Perhaps I’ll just wait for video and do a double feature – at least the uplifting (?) ending to ZDT will make up for what must be a soul-crushingly depressing film in 93.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 47%

The Impossible
Other films I’m looking forward to seeing…

The Rodney King Story, starring Reginald Denny.

Anne Frank, starring Quvenzhané Wallis.

Che, Part III, starring Corbin Bernsen.

The Tale of Hurricane Katrina, as interpreted by the Greenland Dance Troupe.

Get the picture?

It’s bad enough that this supposedly-prestige film is getting good reviews overall.  I want it to be terrible.  It should be terrible.  It will most likely remain terrible in my eyes.

I suppose there’s a time and a place for telling tales of foreigners being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  And I suppose it’s possible that the film actually features some Thai actors.  But you sure as shit wouldn’t know it from its lily-shite trailer.  I don’t think I’m all that sensitive to these types of potentially-PC subject matters, which makes the appearance of The Impossible that much worse (in a similar vein, I take issue with Tarantino playing slavery for laughs and using super-upbeat James Brown songs to market Django Unchained, but something tells me that he’ll have me on board by the end of the first act).

Devin Faraci’s snippet on Rotten Tomatoes might sum up my feelings on The Impossible best: “A film that takes the horrors visited upon millions as an excuse to tell the sad tale of a family who lost all their luggage.”

(Worst part?  It’s directed by Juan Antonio Bayona, of El Orfanato, which I just loved.  A shame.)

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 3%

Jack Reacher
Saw the trailer for this once a few months ago. Haven’t seen anything since, and I’ve forgotten what I saw.

All I can tell you is that Cruise is playing a guy who’s supposed to be 6’5″ and blond. Blah blah blah Interview with the Vampire joke.

Does not care.

But…on the other had, this features Richard Jenkins, Rosamund Pike, Bob Duvall, and…Werner Herzog as the villain.  I’m officially torn.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 41%

The Guilt Trip
Has Barbra Streisand.  Smells like the Robin Williams-Billy Crystal bomb Father’s Day, for some reason.

Does not care.

Dylan’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 10%

Tags THE GUILT TRIPThe Impossiblethis is 40ZERO DARK THIRTY


  • I have no real interest in This Is Forty. With Apatow, I’ve only really liked ‘Virgin’. And I was one of the few who wasn’t all in love with Knocked Up. It’s OK, but… I’d rather spend my time watching something else. Doesn’t help that it’s been getting terrible reviews.

    In regards to Zero Dark Thirty title meaning, I read it’s even less specific than that. It’s more of an unknown time when it’s still dark, anytime between midnight and dawn. And it could also, in essence, mean a secret mission that happens off-record at an undisclosed time.

    I’d never heard of The Impossible, so I had to look up what it was. And yeah, that does seem like a rough subject.

    How could you have only seen the Jack Reacher trailer once? I see it everywhere I turn. It plays any time I go to the theater and has for months. Hell, it even played with Lincoln, which is a weird movie to play it before. It’s like I can’t get away from Jack Reacher stuff. I wasn’t sure what to think of the film, but so far I’ve heard it’s actually pretty dang good.

  • See, here’s a perfect example of us just taking in different media. You say you’ve seen the Jack Reacher trailer a bunch, but I’ve seem The Impossible trailer more than a few times, and you’ve never even heard of it.

    Also keep in mind that I avoid TV commercials almost totally. I pretty much never watch anything live except the NFL, and I have a package that has a channel where there are essentially no commercials.

    “Terrible” reviews is a bit harsh for This is 40. It’s at 62% on RT.

    • I barely watch regular TV, much less commercials (Survivor, Dexter, and Walking Dead being the only shows I watched. Dexter didn’t have commercials, and the other two were either fast-forwarded through or ignored). In other words… that wasn’t it on my end. :P

  • I have yet to watch United 93 myself. But I do intend to see Zero Dark Thirty once it comes out. I was a bit perplexed by the movie until Bigelow and the studio finally made it clearer what the narrative would be about.

    • I feel better about my lack of U93 viewing. I feel like I get chastised for that one a lot. Despite reassurances from others, I’m still afraid of The Infamous Greengrass Shakicam Disease.

  • I want to see The Impossible just to hate it. Sounds horrible.

    As for ZDT, I’ve gotta see it. Hell, I think most film fans probably ought to– Bigelow is a very real director telling very pertinent, contemporary films about aspects of American military life and culture (and how they intersect with geopolitical conflicts). It sounds amazing, and I honestly had absolutely no major desire to see it prior to the first enthusiastic reviews for it hitting the web.

    Badass Digest’s title for This is 40 review: “This is 40 hours long”. Sorry, I’m sick to death of Apatow-train comedies clocking in at over 2 hours when they don’t need to. I sat through The Five Year Engagement this year, I don’t know if I want to do that again, even though I like Apatow a lot.

    And…Jack Reacher! Come on! It looks cheesy in the best ways possible!

    • I’d still like to catch The Five-Year Engagement one of these days, for the cast if nothing else. Hell, it can’t be much worse than This Is 40 was…

      Which isn’t to say that it’s terrible. But it is everything you’ve heard it is and then some. I liken it to Lucas/Star Wars. Apatow’s gotten so big, no one was there (apparently) to tell him all of the problems his film has. That quote from Badass Digest is awesome, though.

      I’ll see ZDT for sure, just not sure if I’ll get to it in time for the theater. Django is top priority right now, and I’d probably choose The Hobbit over ZDT after that (by a hair).