And….. let the hatred of Michael Bay begin.

Let’s get right to it. Here’s the first teaser trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by the aforementioned Mr. Bay:

I grew up on the Turtles. Michelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello. I had what-are-now-called Fatheads of these guys in my childhood room. I had the action figures. I played Ninja Turtles with my neighborhood friends (I was always Donatello, even though my favorite color was and is orange… I’ve still never gotten over it.) I played every video game version that was created and I ate up the movies when they came out. I even saw the just-average TMNT when it came out while I was in college. I’m a fan.

All that is to say that I’m giving this trailer the benefit of the doubt… slightly. It’s still the turtles… right? Michael Bay hasn’t completed sucked the life out of the story. There promises to be the brotherly slapstick (although that joke at the end falls flat) and William Fichtner as Shredder is a pretty fantastic choice. On the other hand… Megan Fox as April is… close to awful. Changing the origin story (presumably) is an odd choice but one that doesn’t really affect anything in the long run.

And then there’s the look of the turtles themselves. There will be fanboys who will hate it. I assume there will be a minority who will love it. Kids, like I once was, will absolutely go bonkers over it. The turtles will be back and truly bigger than ever (in every sense of the word – do you see how huge they are!?!).

So why are we all upset? In the end, there is gonna be new Ninja Turtle material on the big screen. I’m confused as to why there’s an issue…

Oh, that’s right. Michael Bay.

Move on, fanboys. Get over yourself. It’s not the end of the world.

♥♥♥

But man… Megan Fox? Really?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles opens on August 8th.